To Have her Back
by wynn12
Summary: An unfortunate incident, an embarrassing misunderstanding and now Rukia has to deal with a brother that refuses to believe she is not his wife. Byaruki pairing and Post-Hueco Mundo arc.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Bleach is definitely not mine! It all belongs to Mr. Kubo and some companies/studios. If it was, you'd be seeing a lot more of Rukia's nii-sama there, instead of Rurichiyo…

So, dear all, during this time I spent not posting I have been a little busy with visitors here (aka my cousin). I didn't have much time to write, but she gave me an idea for a new fic, that now I present you. I'm still waiting for my beta on P&D, but chapter 8 is almost finished, so you might receive 2 in a roll soon. As for Gift and Toys, they need a certain mood for me to write them, therefore, since I already finished Mystery, I decided to give me another one to work on while I wait for reviewing and right moods. I hope you enjoy.

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"Kuchiki Rukia-san?" Unohana called for Rukia in her typical motherly voice. Rukia stood up with difficulty from the chair she was sitting on for some hours now. Her exhaustion made such a simple action much harder than she expected it to be.

"I am finished here. Don't worry, he will be alright." The captain added, after reading the worry in Rukia's eyes. "I left some painkillers for the pain in his head, and the bandage should be replaced tomorrow. But I healed the wound from the inside, so that his brain shall be unaffected, and he should wake up in some hours."

Rukia smiled relieved. She looked at the bandage on her brother's head, and it quickly reminded her of the battle in Hueco Mundo, where the third espada had hit him so hard on the head that she was almost sure she would never see her brother alive again. He was taken back to Seireitei after the war was won, and received all the medical support he needed. 'He will be alright', she convinced herself, letting Unohana's words echo inside her head.

"You should take some rest too, Rukia-san," the older woman advised.

Rukia simply nodded and accompanied the fourth division captain to the door. After bowing and thanking the captain, she went back into her brother's now quiet room, where she resumed her position in the chair close to his bed. She would wait for him to wake up and see that he was really fine until then. She had been in that same place since she came back from Hueco Mundo in the previous night, patiently waiting for the fourth division team to do their job, so she wasn't going to leave now. Not until he wakes up.

It was a very quiet afternoon, the deep blue sky slowing turning into orange, she noticed, as her eyes accompanied birds flying really high, slowly and peacefully, through the window. The afternoon was incredibly still, no wind, no noises but the singing of a cicada far away, and she was glad that her brother could rest in such a peaceful place.

After some minutes in the silence and loneliness of her brother's room, Rukia started to doze off. She had been healed and rested in Hueco Mundo, it's true, but she was awake since they got to the Kuchiki mansion last night with a still very much injured Kuchiki taichou, and she had been up all night, following closely the medical procedures. Byakuya, in his few conscious moments had asked to be healed at home – 'maybe he wasn't expecting to survive?', she wondered - and Unohana taichou agreed, transferring part of her equip to his room. Now the room was calm and silent, and Rukia couldn't avoid the sleep that slowly took her over without her consent.

She fell asleep there, on her chair, a deep, tired sleep. The sun went slowly down in the horizon, darkening the room where the two Shinigami slept, unaware of time. No light was lit, for the servants had been ordered to not interrupt Byakuya's recovering until he was well and awake enough to give new orders himself. Soon the room was in complete darkness as the night progressed, lit only by a full moon that rose late that day.

It was past two in the morning when Kuchiki Byakuya woke up from his deep sleep. The first thing he noticed was a slight pain in his head. He reached for it and touched the bandages.

'Did I hurt myself this badly?' he wondered when and where. Except for the small pain in his head, he was feeling well and rested.

He looked around. Even in the darkness, the moonlight passing through the window was illuminating enough, especially for his vision already used to the darkness after a long sleep. He easily noticed a familiar sleeping figure in the chair beside him.

'Hisana.' he smiled softly at her relaxed face. 'Why is she sleeping on the chair? Probably watching over me, that silly woman.' He concluded, looking at her tenderly.

Byakuya stood up and approached her without any sounds. He delicatedly put his arms under her legs and back, slowly carrying her slim figure to their bed, careful not to wake her up. He deposited her in her usual side of the bed, taking off her shoes, then kissed her slightly on her lips and went back to sleep, savoring the warmness of her body in a tight embrace.

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Damn, I'm in a writing spree again. As soon as I review next chapter, I'll post it. :)

Plz let me know what you think. Just passing by and saying nothing makes me think you didn't like it. -_-


	2. Chapter 2

Told you it would be fast, here is chapter 2.

Btw, if you don't like the mention of Byakuya/Hisana in fics I recommend you don't read this one, since, due to the plot itself, it is bound to happen, at least the mention of his feelings for her. Then again, I hate Bya/Hisana and I wrote this one myself, so idk. ;)

Also, this whole fic is unbetaed (or at least what I have written until now), so it probably contains mistakes and I usually notice them only after publishing. For that, I apologize in advance.

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It was still semi-dark, but clarity was already painting the dark sky with shades of blue when Rukia started waking up. She was still feeling very tired and completely dizzy. The girl made a small move intending to wake up, but easily gave up, her body demanding more rest - she couldn't even open her eyes.

*******

Byakuya felt his wife moving and woke up slightly. He opened his eyes and smiled, marveled at her mere presence in his arms. How could such a small thing feel so good? She seemed to be still tired, as she easily gave up and went back to sleeping, but he, on contrary, was already feeling rested. He hugged her closer and buried his face in her neck, touching her fair and smooth skin with the tip of his nose, and then kissing it. She smelled so good. It was particularly good that day, he noticed, with a hint of something new, maybe she was trying a new perfume or something?

His body was starting to quickly respond to her presence, her closeness, as if he hadn't had her for a long while - which was not true, he reminded himself with a smirk. Why was he so needy, he wondered, amused. It's just that she was so particularly alluring to him, he concluded, contemplating her forms partially covered by the shelter. That was bound to happen whenever she was this close to him, he knew. Desire was growing fast in him and he wondered if she would mind that he wake her up in that way. Probably not, he concluded with a grin.

He pulled her even closer to him, so that her entire body made contact with his. He loved her so much. Only for this feeling of having her in his arms he would be willing to fight everybody and everything, his family objections, all over again. His hand slid from her hips to her abdomen and upwards, while he kissed her neck with a little more passion. He noticed a delightful moan coming from her.

*******

Rukia woke up again, still considerably dizzy. She opened her eyes briefly and got the impression that she wasn't in her bedroom. She closed them again. Quickly a second observation came to her mind: someone was… caressing her? And kissing her neck? That was a little confusing... the feeling was good hmm, maybe she was still dreaming?

As her senses started to wake up one by one, she got some new impressions… She noticed a distinctly male body – with all its parts included – was touching hers from behind, and then she felt a strong, manly-yet-delicate hand sliding to her upper chest slowly, reaching her breasts, while simultaneously she felt a lick on her neck followed by a small bite. 'No, this is definitely not a dream at all!!' She realized startled, immediately rising and turning back to see who was the daring man that was about to die by her hands.

"GAHHH, BYAKUYA-NII-SAMA?!" she screamed, practically jumping from the bed and pulling the covers with her, her eyes as big as saucers. " WHY-WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?" She asked, completely forgetting any kind of proper behavior she should keep towards him. Propriety be damned in a situation like this.

He simply gaped at her, seeming surprised and more confused than she was. She didn't remember ever seeing such expression on his face. He frowned a bit, trying to sort his thoughts, before speaking in a low tone:

"What is wrong with you Hisana? I am sorry if I startled you, but…" he didn't know how to react to what he clearly considered an overreaction. "Were you having a nightmare?" he tried.

"Hisana? I'm not Hisana, nii-sama," she answered, slightly calmer, but still very wary. As embarrassing as it was, at least his confusion explained his strange behavior.

'Was this a joke from her?' He wondered. Hisana was never one to do this kind of thing.

"Why are you calling me like this? Of course you are Hisana, who else would you be?" He asked, trying to smile a little, but in fact starting to get a little worried about her mental state.

"No, I'm Rukia. Hisana's sister, remember? You adopted me into the Kuchiki clan as your sister… " she tried to explain; maybe he was just confused as he just woke up from his very life-threatening situation, but hopefully he would come back to reality soon.

He stood up from the bed, shirtless and without even worrying to hide the lasting effects of his arousal from the previous moments and, before she could do anything, he hugged her in a loving and protective embrace.

"My love, I know how much you worry about your sister. Please do not worry so much. We will find her, and we will take care of her. It seems you are getting too stressed over this and it is not doing you any good." Rukia felt his light kisses on her head. "Perhaps I should set an appointment with Unohana, maybe she can give you something for the stress. Please take this day to rest a little, stay in bed. I will order that your meals are brought here."

Rukia had assumed a new shade of pink in her cheeks that was soon spreading to her whole face and body. If it was possible to die from embarrassment, she was sure she would be dead by now. She didn't know how to react to such an intimate hug, and from her brother, no less. First of all, she had never been in such an intimate position with any man. Secondly, she was definitely not used to caresses and displays of affection from her brother, in fact, she didn't even know he was capable of any. Though she could not deny that they didn't feel so bad… 'No, Rukia, not a single step on that dangerous path! Focus!'

She shook her head decisively – her nii-sama was clearly in an altered state of mind and she would not let him embarrass himself later, she should protect his pride and honor until he recovered his memory.

"Uh- Nii-sama please don't do this," she tried to disengage from his hug , pushing his hard chest without much success. "It is not appropriate, I mean, you should put som…" Ok, this was definitely easier thought than done. "Listen, I am really Rukia, your adopted sister! It seems you probably lost your memory, or your latest memories, you were severely wounded in your head, please check the bandages in your head!"

He touched the aforementioned bandages but smiled. "It is true that I got hit in the head and that I do not remember the occasion in which it happened, but I would remember my dear Hisana even if I had forgotten my own name." He had a loving gaze on her. "Besides, we cannot expect your sister to look that much like you, my dear," he tried to reason with her, in hopes that she would come back from her delusional state.

'But I do!' She thought desperately, remembering a picture of Hisana that she once found. It could very well be her. They looked like twins. Rukia was sure he must have found it really impressive on the first time he saw her too. And so did everybody else who had met them both. She remembered being referred to as his wife a couple of times, just after the adoption, by those who didn't know about Hisana's death. It had been quite embarrassing.

'Think, Rukia, think!' What else could she say to convince him? She looked around, but found nothing she could use as a proof. She needed someone else's testimonial.

"Byakuya-nii-sama--"

He flinched at those words.

"Please stop addressing me like that." It was a polite order.

"…" This was getting harder than it seemed at first, but she decided to obey him.

"Byakuya…-sama, please stay here for a while, I will ask for Unohana-taichou presence, I'm sure she can clarify this situation for you"

"Hisana. You will not leave this bedroom. Worry not, I will call for Unohana, but please stay here and rest," he asked.

Byakuya started to dress up in a hurry, as the situation seemed urgent to him. He knew Hisana's health had never been good – physically or emotionally – but for some reason she had gotten worse very suddenly.

*****

Rukia watched as her brother approached the wardrobe in apparent hurry. Was he planning on leaving? She couldn't let him leave in this state!

She watched as he suddenly took off his pants – 'Oh no, I should not look!' – and she quickly turned around. When she looked back he had already put a set of his shinigami uniform and his scarf. He turned to her.

Without any warning, he took her quickly on his arms and put her on his bed.

******

"I will call for Unohana. Please stay here," he said, his hand touching the side of her face tenderly, his handsome face so close to hers.

She couldn't let him go out like this. Not only was he injured but also in a very susceptible situation and she had to protect his pride. No one should know about this. It would not do to let gossip out that the 28th head of the Kuchiki clan had gone crazy.

"Byakuya---sama!" Please… don't go!" She held the sleeve of his kimono, which was certainly an improper act, but also a temporary solution. What could she do to avoid his departure? Suddenly, an idea snapped in her head.

"Don't… leave me alone, please," She asked. That was probably not a good idea but… it should work for now.

He smiled sweetly.

"Do not worry, I am not going personally. I will only send her a message. I will come back shortly, my love, I promise."

Well, that certainly had less chances of exposing his current--mmm

Byakuya had put his lips gently over hers in a loving kiss.

Oh God he was… kissing her! Could this situation get any more embarrassing? Not that this was more embarrassing than the situation she was in when she woke up, but…

He was already by the door when Rukia tried to stand up and say something, but he interrupted her with an imperious voice:

"Hisana, this is an order. Stay here until I come back." Then his face assumed a less stern expression. "It will not take more than three minutes."

Rukia stood there unmoving as he closed the door.

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So yeah, the confusion is made. Oh, how unfortunate! (or not!). Btw, if you're wondering why he didn't think she sounded completely differently from Hisana, read the notes on my profile. Also, if you think he is a little ooc, this is honestly how I imagine his relationship with Hisana was in its intimacy, they had been married for 3-4 years now in his head. Also this is how I picture Byakuya was 50 years ago, not the jaded and sour one we get to know in the series after 50 years of been a widower.


	3. Chapter 3

Many thanks to dear Pixiefh, who was kind enough to beta this for me!

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Byakuya truly came back as quickly as he had promised, startling Rukia a little.

"I called for Unohana-taichou, she should be here shortly," he informed her, closing the door and moving in her direction.

Rukia watched helplessly as he sat on the bed next to her.

"I take by your last words that you are feeling better now? You seem to remember who I am, who you are, am I correct?" He said, touching her cheeks and getting dangerously close to her face. She held her breath.

'_Shit_. I knew that was a bad idea,' Rukia thought worriedly.

"A-Actually—"

He rested his forehead on hers, the tips of their noses barely touching, silencing her with the intimacy of the gesture. With his eyes closed, he reached out to hold her face, his thumbs still caressing her cheeks.

"I know it is not your fault, my love, but…" he said slowly, and Rukia could feel his breath touching her lips. His deep grey eyes were piercing into her own, and she couldn't help but notice how beautiful they looked from this close. He closed his eyes again; she felt her heart beat accelerating. "You break my heart when you call me like that, when you reject me like that." He looked at her once more. Rukia was sure she had never seen those eyes look so vulnerable in her life. She doubted anyone else but Hisana had either. This was something so intimate; she shouldn't be there, seeing that…

Yet, she felt bad for him. She definitely didn't want to break his heart anymore, especially now, upon seeing how he used to be with Hisana. It was very clear how broken it was already. But that was bound to happen anyway, as soon as he finds out his beloved wife was dead - again. He continued, oblivious to her inner struggle:

"I know that you have been put under too much pressure here. Maybe we should spend some time away from the mansion. We could go to the summer house, the one we went on our honeymoon, what do you think? We could spend the weekend there…"

Rukia only stared at him and prayed for Unohana-taichou to arrive as fast as possible.

"Only the two of us, we would have the fresh air of the mountains, and the sea is so close too. I think it would do you good."

Rukia only half-smiled with embarrassment, not sure how to react or what to say. She really didn't need (or want) to know about their honeymoon or where it had been.

His right hand moved to her left shoulder and smoothly caressed it, sliding down her arm until he reached her left hand, holding it in his. He pulled her hand close to his face and touched it with his lips in a gentle kiss. "I have wonderful memories of that place." He said, looking into her eyes, and Rukia warily noticed his were now showing not only love but also a hint of lust, as said memories flashed inside his head. Rukia was sure she was blushing. She had to get out of his grasp soon, it wasn't proper…

Foreseeing what was coming, she tried to stand up before he tried to kiss her again. He held her in place.

"No. Stay." He ordered. And kissed her.

Rukia didn't have time to react, for he was quite fast, catching her off guard. The fact that she was practically gaping made it even easier for him to deepen the kiss, making it more passionate.

He was breathing hard on her mouth and after a few moments Rukia found herself slowly closing her eyes and returning the kiss…

Just as she began to sink into the embrace, a knock on the door interrupted them and Rukia suddenly opened her eyes, relieved, as she heard:

"Kuchiki-sama, your breakfast," a servant called from outside.

He broke the kiss and answered:

"Enter."

Three servants brought their meal on silver trays and deposited them on the bed, leaving silently. Rukia noticed she was still trembling as they left.

"Uh, what did you say to them?" She asked, worried that he had mentioned Hisana in his speech.

What kind of question was that, Byakuya wondered. Was she worried about the servants? Her question had a hint of paranoia that didn't sound like good news. He had also noticed her reluctance in kissing him, which wasn't good either. He couldn't let her indulge in that fantasy of being her sister.

"I have asked our breakfast to be served here, like I told you I would," he answered, trying to ease her fears. "Now, please eat."

Despite the absurdity of having her breakfast in her brother's bed, Rukia obeyed. She hoped he would follow her, as she was still worried about his health. It seemed to work, for he started to eat as well.

"Byakuya-…-sama." She reached for something on his bedside table.

He looked at her, frowning a little.

"Unohana left those pills for you to take in the morning, for your head, if you still feel pain." She handed them to him.

Byakuya took them from her hand and examined them closely for a few seconds, as if trying to read something or recognize them. Then he reached for a glass of water.

'_Good_,' she thought. At least he wouldn't argue over _that._

"We were also supposed to change your bandages now, but since Unohana-taichou is coming, I believe it's better if she does it herself."

He simply nodded.

They finished their meal in silence - the singing of birds was the only sound they could hear - each one lost in worry for the other albeit for very different reasons. After a while, they heard another knock on the door.

"Kuchiki-sama, Unohana-taichou is here to see you," the servant announced.

Byakuya assumed a different position and fixed his kimono before answering.

"See that she enters; we are finished here," he informed them.

The servants took the silver trays back to the kitchen and after they left the room Unohana's figure appeared at the door. She bowed from outside before entering.

"Excuse me. I came as fast as I could" she explained. "Kuchiki-taichou, how is your head? Do you feel any pain?"

"Just a slight pain when I woke up, I took the medicine you prescribed." He saw the woman nodding. "But I am perfectly well," He answered. "My concern is Hisana's health, as I told you in the message.

Unohana looked at Rukia, who had a distraught, pleading look on her face.

"He doesn't remember me," the young woman explained. She received a stern-hurt glance from Byakuya.

"Of course I remember you, Hisana", he replied exasperated, looking to Unohana as if trying to make his point.

"I've tried to explain, but he doesn't believe me." Rukia added.

"She has been acting like this since we woke up. I was thinking of taking her to our summer house where she could rest a little, at least for this weekend."

"That is… unexpected," Unohana concluded "but not unheard of." She turned to Byakuya and explained in a smooth, motherly voice:

"Kuchiki-taichou, I know this will sound somewhat confusing at first, but this is not Hisana," Unohana answered, looking at Rukia before turning back to him. "She _is_ your adopted sister, Kuchiki Rukia. You suffered a severe wound on your head recently and, even though we healed the physical damage, it appears you have a mild case of retrograde amnesia. You seem to have lost all memory of the last 50 years. Once you get some needed rest, I believe your memories should come back to you within a few days."

Byakuya felt disoriented and slightly nauseous upon hearing those words. He knew Unohana-taichou would never lie about something as serious as this, but it all seemed too surreal for him to believe. Had he really forgotten all that happened in the past fifty years? His head _had_ been wounded after all, he conceded. Had they found Hisana's sister then? Could she really look that much like his wife? His mind was swarming with questions.

"I apologize but this is too big of a surprise for me." He replied.

"We understand," Unohana answered for them both.

"Anoo, Unohana-taichou… I believe it would be best for my brother to rest and have a chance to regain his memories before he returns to his duty." Rukia asked, implying the gossiping that was bound to happen. She hoped the captain would understand his vulnerable situation – someone as powerful as her brother, with his memory lost, was bound to attract people that wanted to take advantage of his situation. She wasn't even sure if some family members were to be trusted.

Unohana nodded sympathetically. "Yes, Rukia-san, I will speak with Yamamoto-sou-taichou and your brother should be dismissed from his duties until his full recovery. This is actually the case for many of the injured on the war."

Rukia felt relieved – Unohana-taichou was a very wise and discreet woman. She saw the older woman turning to Byakuya.

"Be reassured, Kuchiki-taichou, I believe your memories shall be back in some days. But for now, I must insist that you rest. The summer house you mentioned would actually be an excellent idea; it would allow you to get some much needed downtime. You included, Rukia-san. This war was not easy on anyone," the captain noticed, pensively. "You said you intended to spend a couple of days there? I say you should follow that idea," she suggested.

Byakuya found the idea agreeable, especially now that he was starting to realize he could be in a vulnerable situation. He simply nodded circumspectly.

The woman smiled and continued:

"Now let me take a look at that wound. Please take a seat."

Byakuya sat on the bed while she started taking off the bandages crossing his forehead. He looked into the mirror and noticed a scar on the left side of it, but it was completely closed.

"It is healing up well. You just need some rest, and I will cover it again for protection," she explained, while wrapping new bandages over his wound. "Besides that, there is nothing we can do but wait."

"How about you, Rukia-san? Is your wound better?"

"Yes, taichou, it has completely healed already, thank you," Rukia answered, touching her stomach. The area was still a little sensitive but she didn't feel any pain.

"I am glad to hear it."

As the conversation developed, Byakuya was trying to grasp their version of what happened. From what he understood, there had been a war, he was severely injured in his head and apparently forgot everything that happened in the last fifty years. Well, that would be very unfortunate. If it was true, he wouldn't be able to recognize people or address them correctly, according to what had changed. It would be hard to identify who was trustful and who was not. He probably wouldn't even be able to recognize part of his division, he imagined. Fifty years was a lot of time. Well, at least he was still a captain. Who would be his lieutenant? If it all was true, he would need some time to get his memories back, indeed. It wouldn't do to go back to his division and expose his delicate predicament. _If_ that was, in fact, the truth.

The only thing that still didn't make any sense to him was that_ that_ Hisana sitting on his bed was not _his_ Hisana, but a complete stranger, or rather, Hisana's sister, which, it seemed, was also his adopted sister, Rukia. That was still not reasonable or understandable. Before Unohana could leave for her division, he interrupted the conversation.

Gesturing towards Rukia, he asked:

"If she is not Hisana, then where is Hisana?" he questioned.

******

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Yeah, the 1,000,000 dollar question, poor Byakuya. Will he accept the truth?


	4. Chapter 4

New chapter! Life has been a little crazy lately, so I haven't had time to write much, sorry. I'm still working on chapter 10 of P&D, and the price of memories has been poking me too. Gosh! Let me deliver this for now, have fun. :)

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_******_

"_If she is not Hisana, then where is Hisana?" he questioned._

_******_

Silence descended upon the room as the two women exchanged meaningful looks.

Unohana explained sadly, with as much delicacy as such a topic would allow:

"Kuchiki-taichou… your wife, Hisana, passed away fifty years ago. Rukia-san never got to meet her."

Byakuya frowned at those words. Both women looked at him in silence.

He shook his head slightly in denial. "That… cannot be true. I do not believe it."

Byakuya felt confusion blurring his mind, and for someone as rational as Kuchiki Byakuya, the feeling was very uncomfortable. There had to be a mistake in all that, he was certain. The evidences, like his head wound, were pointing that way, but… he couldn't buy _that_. It was impossible. Yet, why would they lie to him? Were they lying or saying what they _thought_ was the truth? He felt a strong headache rising very suddenly.

After a few seconds in silence, Rukia spoke:

"I am sorry, nii-sama," she said with sadness in her eyes. It pained her to see him like that, to know that he would have to endure that suffering once more. "But what Unohana-taichou said… is true."

"Stop it!" He commanded angrily, turning to an empty wall, startling Rukia a little. "You expect me to doubt my own mind without any proof? You expect me to believe my wife is dead when I see her right in front of my eyes!? I will not endure this nonsense any longer!"

Byakuya's headache was growing exponentially and it was hard to keep his eyes opened. He raised his right hand and pressed it to his forehead, closing his eyes in pain.

"Kuchiki-taichou, is everything—" Unohana tried.

Rukia felt a strong reiatsu envelope the room, so strong that it was hard to stand. She felt her legs getting weak and before she could react to it she collapsed, her knees on the floor.

At the same time, she heard a loud blast and noticed her brother had stumbled over the table, using it as a support with his free hand, followed by the sound of objects crashing.

Rukia looked up at Unohana who was still standing and contemplating him with a surprised yet serious look.

As soon as it came, it was gone, and silenced filled the room again. Rukia stood up, scared, and watched Byakuya rise as well.

No one dared to speak.

Byakuya was the first to break the silence.

"Leave me." He ordered coldly. He needed to think.

Both women moved towards the door quietly.

*****

In the corridor, Unohana said: "Rukia-san, please make sure your brother rests. I don't think it is wise to confront him with the truth just yet. Give him time and eventually he will accept it. Or perhaps his memories will come back sooner than that. For now, you both need to recover. Make sure he takes the medicine if needed, renew those bandages so the wound is protected and support him as you can."

Rukia glanced at her brother and noticed he was still watching her from inside his room. She was not used to seeing his eyes so full of emotions – confusion, anger, doubt, pain, love – it was hard to pick one. It was painful to see.

"I will." Rukia promised. "Thank you, Unohana-taichou."

They both bowed and the older woman left.

*****

Rukia turned to her brother.

"Nii-sama, I will be in my room if you need me. It's this one, immediately to the right of yours." She pointed with a brief movement of her head. "Excuse me," she bowed, but he interrupted her.

"No, Hisana. Come back here," He asked imperiously.

Rukia gulped and entered his room again.

"Close the door."

She reluctantly obeyed.

"Unohana mentioned you were wounded," he commented.

"I was," she responded simply, avoiding his gaze on her.

"In this war she mentioned, I take it?" He inquired further.

"Yes," She responded.

"Where?" He asked, searching it with his eyes.

'What kind of question is that? In Hueco Mundo?' Rukia wondered. Noticing his gaze on her, she understood it.

"On my stomach," she answered, touching the area. "It has healed already, why--"

"Show me," he ordered, interrupting her.

"W-What?" Rukia gasped.

"Let me see it." He repeated, but he didn't wait for a response as he unceremoniously reached for the obi of her kimono and untied it, letting it fall open.

"N-No!" She tried to hold the kimono in place with both hands so it would still cover her breasts.

He ignored her protest and sat on the bed, pulling her closer by her hips, as if she was something he owned, and started inspecting her. Rukia just stood there in front of him, too shocked and embarrassed to do anything else, feeling Byakuya's hands on her waist.

Three thin, red lines were still visible on her skin, but the wounds were completely closed. He held her in place by her waist and passed his thumb over one of them.

'So there was a war indeed, it seems,' he concluded. That part was probably right, and confirmed by his head injury. Yet, he couldn't remember any of it. But... fifty years?

"What were you doing on the battlefield?" he questioned, releasing her from his grip. Rukia quickly tied her kimono again, trying not to die of shame.

"I am a shinigami… Byakuya-sama," she informed him as emotionlessly as she could.

It was clear he still saw her as Hisana. She wouldn't lie about herself, but she couldn't press the issue either. She didn't want to cause him any more suffering, let alone provoke another one of those reiatsu incidents. Rukia decided she would not confront him at the moment, as Unohana had suggested, nevertheless, she would answer him truthfully whenever he asked her anything. That was probably the best way to stimulate his memories.

"I see." He kept his serious expression.

Was it possible that his wife had become a shinigami in the last fifty years? - Byakuya wondered.

"Well, I will take a shower; you are welcome to join me," He informed her, heading to the bathroom.

Rukia blushed and answered faintly.

"My… things are in the other room."

The young shinigami was eager for a shower as well, so she headed to her bedroom. If he was planning on leaving she should be ready to avoid it or go with him, she concluded, deciding to make it a fast one.

*****

Rukia knocked on Byakuya's door, but as she got no answer, she decided to enter anyway. She found him already dressed - shinigami uniform, captain's haori, gloves and scarf. He was seated in front of the mirror.

"Are you leaving?" She asked.

"Yes," he succinctly answered.

"Where to?" Rukia questioned further. He should be resting, not walking around and exposing how he lost his memory for all of Seireitei to see.

"Would you help me with this? The bandages make it a little harder." He commented.

Rukia looked at what he was trying to do. Was he seriously asking her for help? To put on his kenseikan? If the situation wasn't so bad, Rukia decided she would find it fairly amusing.

"Erh, I'm not sure if I know how to… Byakuya-sama."

"You have done it plenty of times successfully in the past four years," he dismissed her objection, after eyeing her suspiciously.

Was it something Hisana used to do for him everyday? Was she expected to do it as well? - Rukia wondered.

She approached him and, trying to act as hastily as she could, she touched his hair, separating it in parts and pulling them, attaching the kenseikan in a fashion she hoped was the correct one. She couldn't help but notice how smooth his hair felt, but tried to focus on the task in hand, trying her best to ignore the awkwardness of the situation. The ones on the side were impossible to put on, due to the bandages on his forehead, but the upper ones seemed to be placed where they should be.

"Thank you," he said, standing up.

He seemed much taller from so close, she noted absentmindedly. She felt his eyes on her, and looked down.

"It seems somewhat weird, to see you in this attire," he added with a brief smile.

Rukia looked upwards at hearing his very uncharacteristic comment. He was obviously referring to her shinigami uniform, and she quickly remembered he had barely seen her in anything else _but_ it, but decided to remain silent and play along – for now.

"I assume you are coming with me?" he asked politely. Whether the problem was his memory or her mental state (or maybe even both), Byakuya concluded it would be for the best that he kept her close to him.

"Yes," she answered, following him outside, and dreading a million things that could go wrong in their little excursion.

..

.

* * *

As I mentioned in my livejournal, it still feels a little crazy and interesting to write the two of them in so many different frames of mind - here we see Byakuya in the past, before Hisana's death and Rukia post-Ichigo and post-Hueco Mundo, while in P&D it's the opposite - Rukia pre-Ichigo (a little more shy and insecure) and Byakuya post-Hisana's death (dealing with the mess of so many promises). It's a lot of fun to explore them in different stages of their lives. I think I'm trying every combination of them! lol

Well, that's it for now, let me know what you think! :)


	5. Chapter 5

It seems some people are a little confused about Bleach's timeline and when Byakuya became a captain, so let me clarify it for you:

On Bleach manga, chapter 145, pg 05, Rukia inform us that Byakuya had become a captain "not long before she joined the Gotei 13". With this, the only thing we know for sure is that he was already a captain when he adopted her, and that his promotion was recent.

I'm assuming in my story that she meant about 3 years as "not long before" (it might be more, since these shinigami people live for centuries, 3 years is like nothing. To be honest, it would make more sense if he was already a captain when he married, since it would give him more power to make everyone accept it. Maybe Tite Kubo will tells us more in the future?).

Considering she was adopted one year after Hisana's death and joined the Gotei 13 immediately, this would lead us to Byakuya becoming a captain at least 1 or 2 years before Hisana's death, so that's why he remembers himself as a captain in my story. Also, being a captain, he obviously does know his bankai, even though, probably not its many developments, which he probably acquired later.

*****  
_Yukata: light, casual kimono._

* * *

Rukia studiously followed her brother, a small step behind him like she usually did, as Byakuya walked silently, and apparently aimlessly, after refusing to say where they were going.

She would have to be aware and try to avoid any situation that could expose his state, while being careful not to confront him with the truth just yet.

For now, he had walked around the mansion quietly, probably searching for something that would confirm or deny what she and Unohana-taichou had revealed to him earlier. She felt the urge to say something else that would make him believe it, but fought against it.

In truth, the mansion was pretty much the same as the one she was shown when she was adopted, so Rukia figured it would be hard for him to find any proof just by that alone. He would have to talk to other people to receive a confirmation, which was something she would prefer to avoid, since she wanted to protect him from all the gossiping it could generate.

He left to the gardens and after some wandering around, they crossed the gates of the Kuchiki estate and Rukia found herself growing more wary – things could go really wrong out there.

He should try to avoid people, observing them from afar instead, Byakuya figured, as he walked through some corridors, avoiding the main division passages. If the story they told him was true, that would be the best way to hide his memory loss until he recovered from it. If not, something still seemed to be wrong with Hisana, and it wouldn't hurt to protect her from foreign eyes in such a state.

They had been walking for some time now. Still, he had not seen anything different from the usual that would support their theory. The mansion was the same, and Seireitei seemed the same as well. The only odd thing was – why would Hisana and Unohana-taichou lie to him?

And if they were not lying, but telling what they _thought_ was the truth, which was more likely, why would both of them believe that Hisana was not Hisana? He could understand why his wife could develop a syndrome and start thinking she was her sister, but Unohana-taichou? It didn't make any sense.

Suddenly it occurred to Byakuya that Unohana-taichou could have been only trying to avoid a confrontation with Hisana, given her already distressed state. Maybe he missed any signs she had given before indulging in Hisana's story? She did mention he should take her to the summer house, after all…

He would have to talk to the captain later, when he didn't have Hisana by his side, so it would be fruitless to visit the Fourth Division for the time being. It would be better to simply take care of her, as Unohana suggested, until then.

He turned back and started to head to the mansion, deciding to follow Unohana's advice and give them both some time away – it seemed like the best course of action after all.

They had almost reached the Kuchiki estate when Byakuya felt a very strong reiatsu. It was obviously of captain-level. From the high corridor where they were, it was possible to see the training grounds of the Eleventh Division.

Byakuya searched for the unknown source of that strong aura and spotted a very peculiar figure, a huge man with an eye patch, spiked hair and – were those little bells? – wearing a captain's haori. He frowned a little.

Rukia took notice as her brother stopped and eyed him curiously.

"Who is that?" he asked in a low voice, as he watched the strange figure emotionless, and Rukia got the impression he wasn't talking to her.

The reiatsu seemed strong and chaotic, Byakuya noticed, potentially dangerous. Was that man a menace to Seireitei, he wondered - one of the enemies from the mentioned war, perhaps? He searched for Senbonzakura, safely sheathed on his side, ready to use it at the sight of a possible intruder who seemed to be mocking Seireitei's rules – why else would he wear a captain haori? - and defying its peace.

"That is Zaraki Kenpachi, captain of the Eleventh Division," Rukia answered him, happy that he had finally spotted something that could lead him to the truth.

'So it seems, since he is wearing the captain haori from the Eleventh Division,' he thought hesitantly.

"That is not the Kenpachi-taichou I remember, though,"* he added slowly, looking intrigued at the fairly bizarre figure, which, in truth, seemed to be treated by the others as the real captain, as he noticed after a few moments of inspection.

"He defeated the old captain and became the new one some decades ago," she explained, hoping her words would help him.

He turned his gaze to her, looking at her shinigami uniform and wondering how Hisana would be so informed or interested in things like those. Could he really have forgotten the past fifty years, he wondered, realizing it was a real possibility.

Rukia misinterpreted his expression as a realization of the truth, for she asked:

"So do you believe me now?" the girl was happy and hopeful that perhaps things could go back to the way they were.

Byakuya simply looked at her. Believe in what exactly?

Rukia noticed he seemed to be thinking about her words, and she couldn't resist the urge to push it a little further.

"Do you remember me? Do you know who I am, nii-sama?" She questioned further, in hopes he would remember and be back to himself, well and healthy.

At this, Byakuya frowned._ 'Do you know who I am, nii-sama?'_, her words kept echoing in his head. A very sudden, piercing headache struck him, and he blinked, touching his head with his hand as he had done before, his face showing the excruciating pain.

Rukia looked at him wide-eyed, and cursed inwardly, recognizing her mistake. Before he could get any worse she acted, almost impulsively.

"Byakuya…-sama, forgive me," she said, closing the distance between them. "Are you… "

What? Alright? Well? _That_ he obviously was not. Maybe she shouldn't ask about his pain either. She quickly decided to simply touch his face with her hand, searching for his reactions, even if the physical contact seemed completely foreign and awkward to her.

He covered her hand with his and closed his eyes, basking in the feeling of her small hand on his face, touching him tenderly. It felt so comforting and right. The pain was fading away.

"I am perfectly well, do not worry yourself," he answered, easing her concerns. "We are going home," he informed her with a tone of finality.

She simply nodded and followed, one step behind him, as usual, until they reached the Kuchiki mansion gates.

-  
_* I know some Bleach fans may have missed it, but every captain of the 11th division is called Kenpachi, regardless of their real name._

"We are leaving for the summer house. Prepare your luggage, I will ask the servants to arrange our departure," he informed her, turning around without giving her any opportunity to protest.

Damn. Staying in a house alone with him didn't seem like a good idea. Especially_ that_ house.

"F-For how long?" she asked, saying it loudly so he could still listen to her.

"I have not decided yet," he paused to answer her, resuming his elegant walk immediately after it.

Rukia entered her bedroom and closed the door behind her.

'What now?' she wondered, sighing. She slumped down on the edge of the bed and covered her face with her hands in desperation. How could she stay with him for so long pretending to be Hisana? She couldn't do that. Things were bound to go wrong some way or another… she would either have to expose the truth again or… or... well, the other option wasn't even an option.

However, it didn't escape her that the summer house would be an excellent way to make him rest, as Unohana suggested, especially since he was not entirely convinced he did need the resting in the first place. It was also the best option to avoid exposing his predicament until he was fully recovered.

Rukia sighed again and, realizing she didn't have many options, started packing as he instructed. The only thing she could do was hope he would recover his memories as soon as possible to avoid any more embarrassing moments that he was bound to regret afterwards.

It was later than the usual when she was called for dinner that night. She had changed into a navy blue yukata with light pink sakura petals as pattern after a long bath, and her luggage was ready, as requested. Rukia looked at it and yawned, her body aching for sleep… maybe she did need some rest after all.

They ate in silence, only the two of them, as usual. She could feel her brother's eyes on her, even though they didn't feel quite brotherly-like at that moment in particular, and tried to focus on her food instead. She was startled when he suddenly broke the silence:

"We leave early in the morning," he informed her. "They are waiting for us there."

They? Who would 'they' be?

She simply nodded.

"I think it could be a good opportunity for us, after all," he observed.

A good opportunity? For what? To rest? To… what? Rukia was starting to panic, getting more and more uncomfortable at her absolute lack of control over the situation. She was the sane one here. She should be able to…

"Is there anything bothering you?" he asked, genuinely concerned at her discomfort.

"No, I am absolutely fine," she lied. "I ask Byakuya-sama's permission to retire for the night."

"I am finished as well, I can accompany you," he simply answered, standing up.

Rukia gulped, but kept steadily walking towards her bedroom. When she reached for the door, he interrupted her:

"Where are you going?"

"Hm… to change, to sleep?" she tried hopelessly. She knew where this was going…

"Why have you moved your things to the other bedroom? Is there not enough space in ours?" He asked. Hisana's condition was starting to bother him, but he would have to be patient with her, he figured, displeased.

"Am I not allowed to have my own bedroom in such a large mansion?" She tried.

"Very well, if it is a matter of such relevance to you… I will wait for you inside," he conceded, moving to his bedroom and closing the door.

Rukia sighed at her predicament. She changed into her nightgown, still unsure of what to do. It was clear he still saw her as his wife, and obviously expected her to sleep with him. Maybe not only sleep with him, but _sleep with him_, if the way she woke up that morning was any indication. She blushed deeply at the mere remembrance.

What should she do? She didn't want him to suffer in any way or worsen his state, but… there were limits...boundaries...

Rukia reluctantly entered his bedroom, closing the door behind her. She noticed her brother on his sleeping kimono, lying on the bed, but she stood fixed at same spot unmoving, not daring to get any close to him. He merely watched her, puzzled at her behavior.

"Is there anything wrong, Hisana?"

Her condition seemed to have improved during that day, had she gone delirious about being her sister again?

"No," she lied once more, slowly approaching the bed, but still not daring to touch it. He made some space for her, but she kept staring, her back stiff, her posture denouncing her tenseness.

After a few seconds of awkwardness, she broke down:

"I'm sorry, I can't do this, nii-sama! It is improper! I-I can't keep –y-you are going to hate me afterw-"

Faster than she could notice, he was hugging her, silencing her with the contact of his chest on her cheek.

"Shhh, calm down. Everything is fine. I would never hate you, my love," he whispered in a reassuring tone. He pulled her to the bed, still holding her in his arms, and covered them both with the blanket, resuming his embrace by hugging her from behind.

"Just lay down and sleep. We leave early in the morning," he said sweetly, caressing her hair and placing light kisses on the top of her head.

Rukia was unsure of what to do, embarrassment hazing her thoughts. The contact of his warm body on her back and his arm on her waist felt weird, though not exactly… unpleasant. The kisses and caresses weren't bad either, even if foreign…

She felt him moving a little and the dim light went out, leaving them both in the dark. Rukia tensed again. Well, at least he wouldn't be able to see the deep blush burning her cheeks.

He was still holding her tightly in his arms, and apparently had no intentions of releasing her anytime soon. Then again, he didn't seem to have any _other plans _either, so maybe… maybe she could endure the situation for the time being.

She slowly relaxed in his embrace, trying not to think too much on her predicament.

It proved itself to be harder than she thought.

Rukia laid there in the dark, painfully aware of his body so close to her, so warm; the smooth skin of his arms, the hardness of his chest, the strand of his hair tickling her chin, the good, manly scent emanating from him, mixed with soap and something else. It was hard to admit but… she wasn't used to being held like that at all and… it felt good.

She started to feel a tingling sensation on her stomach spreading down… something she honestly didn't want to name. Diverting her thoughts, she let herself get comfortable in the warmness and darkness, and sleep finally engulfed her.

Byakuya felt her relaxing in his arms and smiled lightly. Soon she was breathing steadily and he figured she had fallen asleep. His body was still reacting to her, like it had been since he had hugged her and he tried not to think about it, releasing a low, frustrated sigh. He had been particularly needy lately for some reason, but it would not do to think about anything like that in her current state. Hopefully she would improve in the summer house…

He pulled her a little closer and touched his nose on her cheek. And soon he relaxed, feeling the nice scent on her skin and hair, and slept peacefully, glad at having the love of his life on his arms.

* * *

And that it for now, kids. I haven't had much time to write lately, I'm sorry. Plz review and let me know what you think. :)


	6. Chapter 6

As promised, here is chapter 6! I hope you all like it. Many thanks to all those who gave some awesome reviews, you guys really motivate me! I never expected this fic to be anything especial, I'm very glad you liked it so much, it really made my day/week! ^^

Btw, there's a question for you on my livejournal regarding this fic's rating. Would you kindly answer it? You don't need an account, anonymous posts are allowed. (It is winn-12 livejournal com).

Thanks and have fun!

* * *

_Hakama: pants used with the kimono (i.e the one Rukia uses in her shinigami uniform –black - or in her academy uniform - red)_

* * *

_ ._

_.. _

Rukia was woken up by a bump that caused her head to jolt upwards, just to fall back into something warm and comfortable again. She felt a dim clarity behind her eyelids and opened them slowly, blinking a bit.

The first thing she noticed was a beautiful landscape passing through the window. A little confused, she looked around and noticed she was in a wagon… her head laying partially on a pillow, and partially on… _her brother's lap?_

She sat up immediately.

Right, the trip - she recalled.

Suddenly, blurred images passed through her head. They had woken up before dawn, she had numbly gone to her bedroom and exchanged her night gown for a light blue yukata and shortly afterwards someone had taken her luggage and they left.

Rukia noticed the smiling face of Byakuya looking tenderly at her. She would never get used to seeing such an unbecoming expression on his face.

"Good morning," he said kindly.

"Good morning," she answered, still a little sleepy.

"We are almost there," he informed her.

Rukia simply nodded, and turned to the window. It was a beautiful, sunny day. She could see mountains everywhere, the closest ones covered in grass and small bushes, and those farther away full of dense vegetation. She leaned over the window to have a better view and noticed the road had reached a bifurcation. One of the paths led to a small village, but the wagon took the other one.

She straightened herself back on the bench, trying to find a comfortable position. The cool breeze of the morning had made her a little cold and she rubbed her arms discreetly.

Apparently not discreetly enough though, since her brother immediately passed an arm around her, pulling her to him.

He was warm. She tensed a bit and thought briefly about protesting, but figured it would be creating a situation too early in the morning and she didn't want to deal with it just yet. Besides, it was something a brother could do to a sister… right?

She wasn't entirely sure, but decided not to think of it any further. If she relaxed and pretended she wasn't cold he would simply release her anyways.

"It is a beautiful place, is it not?" he asked absentmindedly, gazing at the landscape.

"Yes, it is," she responded, spotting a thin blue line near the edge of the horizon that seemed to be the sea.

*****

Some minutes later, Rukia felt the wagon stopping and waited for Byakuya to step down first. She heard a voice coming from outside:

"Byakuya-sama, welcome! We are very glad to see you here again after so long."

Rukia could see the smiling face of an old man outside. He was wearing servant clothes, plain and simple, and she concluded he was probably the caretaker of the property.

"It has not been so long, Seiji," she heard Byakuya replying, and Rukia was surprised to notice the familiarity and the light smile disguised on Byakuya's face – he didn't use to treat the servants with such a kind disposition, and she wondered for how long had the old man served the Kuchiki family. He seemed to look at Byakuya respectfully but also with the pride one would feel for a young master he probably knew as a child.

Caught in her own thoughts, Rukia noticed her brother had extended his hand for her to take, helping her out of the coach.

The old man's face was clouded with a frown of confusion as soon as he laid eyes on her.

"Lady… Hisana! I-I thought it was a mistake in the message, we-we… thought she was… " He was looking at her wide-eyed, in a mix of surprise and fright, as if he had seen a ghost.

Rukia took pity in the man's fear and was about to clarify the mistake but she didn't have time.

"Hisana is sick," Byakuya interrupted him, "that is why I wanted to make sure our days here are spent in absolute peace, without any disturbances."

"O-Of course, master, as usual," the man simply said, bowing, visibly ashamed of his inappropriate display. "The breakfast will be served immediately."

Rukia finally had time to look at the house. It was very beautiful, a typical old construction, with large windows and surrounded by a terrace. Their luggage had been taken away (hopefully to their _bedroo__ms_but she didn't think she would be so lucky) and they were taken to the dining room.

A cheerful old woman entered the room, bringing the last few dishes on a tray. She was very thin but, like the old man, she seemed healthy, and Rukia wondered if she was his wife.

"Byakuya-sama, Hisana-sama," she said, bowing. "We are extremely glad to see you here again." Her words, like the man's words, seemed sincere.

By the looks of it, the man had informed this woman about her presence, so she seemed less surprised, even if still curious. Rukia knew Hisana had been there at least once – on their honeymoon – and wondered how they came to know about her death. Probably just through a message, and soon they would be thinking it was all a misunderstanding and that she was still alive, adding even more to Rukia's already complicated situation. She wondered absentmindedly if she should talk to them later.

The woman silently left, leaving them both to eat in peace. The food was delicious, and in Rukia's opinion, better than the meal they had in the mansion, even if less sophisticated.

"It is very quiet here," Rukia observed, listening to the birds singing outside.

"Yes, very peaceful. The house was made for resting in privacy. There are only a few servants also, all discreet and loyal, as you know. There is no need to worry here," he reminded her, hopeful that the new environment could ease her fears and stress that living on the Kuchiki mansion was causing her. He knew that the lack of acceptance from the family and the pressure to give him a son had always been bad for her already frail health.

After the meal, they went to _their_ bedroom - as Rukia had feared, they were staying - for now - in the same one. It was a big room, luxuriously decorated. Beautiful bucolic paintings decorated the walls.

After a quick bath - which she took in another bathroom – she came back and insisted that they change his bandages. He reluctantly agreed, and she used the opportunity to set his kenseikan too, as he had requested before.

The closeness and the way he was looking at her was unnerving Rukia, so as soon as she was finished, she moved to the window, putting some distance between them. She looked idly outside and noticed they had a wonderful view.

"So, Would you like to do anything in particular?" He asked, catching her by surprise. She didn't have any idea of what her options were in the first place.

"Uh, I... don't know," she answered truthfully, turning her back to look at him, then lowering her gaze to corner of the room. After a few seconds, she heard him reply:

"We can stay in the bedroom if you prefer," he suggested.

Rukia held a gasp at the boldness of what he was implying… did he mean…?

Then again, she didn't notice any intentions in the way he sounded, maybe he was only suggesting they rest… read a book or something? Was she the one imagining things? She blushed at her own foolishness and turned to the window again to hide her embarrassment, irritated with herself.

Maybe he _was_ implying what she understood. She wouldn't know. She had never even imagined this side of her brother and would be very glad if she never had to. It seemed so… unlike him. Then again, he was talking to his wife, or so he thought, so it was probably natural. She was the one who shouldn't be witnessing it.

It didn't matter anyway. Staying in the bedroom was definitely a bad idea, no matter what he had implied. Outside, they would be in public and she knew he was not prone to public displays of affection, which was definitely not appropriate for a Kuchiki, so she would be safe. She looked outside searching for something - anything she could suggest. Anything… and then she spotted… stables.

"Horses. You have horses here," she commented curiously.

"We do," he answered. Didn't she know that already?

"Do you know how to ride it?" Rukia asked, genuinely interested.

"Of course," he simply replied.

"Can we do that?" she asked, excited. She had never ridden a horse before; it seemed like an interesting - and safe - thing to do.

"You want me to take you on a horse ride?"

Not exactly…

"Can you teach me how to ride one?" she suggested instead.

"Certainly, if such is your wish," he answered puzzled, yet smiling. He liked how she seemed excited about it.

Rukia searched for her belongings and went to put a hakama on.

*****

When they got to the stables, Byakuya asked for one horse and mounted it, offering Rukia a hand and instructing her to mount in front of him. That was not what Rukia had in mind, but it would do for now - it wouldn't hurt to go with him first to get the basics before she tried herself.

He moved the reins and the animal started moving, and soon they went, breeze on their faces, through the nearby fields.

"Hold the reins with me," he instructed.

She did as she was told, not unaware of his arms around her, his body too close to hers, making her slightly uncomfortable. She just couldn't get used to being so close to her usually oh-so-cold-and-distant brother. It felt completely abnormal to touch him in any way.

She felt him putting his hands over hers on the reins, but tried to ignore it.

"If you want it to go faster, you do it like this," he explained, moving her hands with his and she felt the horse running faster. Her heartbeat increased a bit as the animal gained speed, and she decided she liked it. This was a lot more fun that shunpo-ing to places, even if slower.

"If you want it to stop, you pull the reins like this," he demonstrated, moving her hands with his again, "just not too fast or the horse can get scared."

She watched and nodded simply, trying to ignore how close he was, and act normally, even with feeling his breath in her ear. No, she would never get used to that, she concluded, blushing lightly. Her mind quickly registered that they were quite a away from the house - and alone. She changed her focus to the lesson, instead, as he spoke:

"And if you want to turn and go back, you just indicate it like this," he showed again. "The animal will understand. Just make sure to hold it firmly and pass your instructions clearly," he finished, heading back towards the stables.

She nodded, confirming she understood the rules. It seemed easy enough.

Rukia looked at the stables and decided she enjoyed the experience, very much.

"Can I try it… alone?" she asked, back to her original plan. She was really eager to try it by herself.

He looked at her, surprised.

"Are you not afraid of it?" Hisana had always been a little afraid of horses, and he never imagined she would like to ride one by herself.

"No, I think it will be fun," she answered truthfully, with her first real smile of the day.

He eyed her with a hint of pride and requested a horse for her. She seemed to be getting better - the summer house had been a good idea after all.

*****

They spent the afternoon riding around, passing through mountains, lakes and woods. After a quick and funny start, Byakuya was surprised she ended up learning so quickly, even daring to run with it.

He was glad to see she was having fun and would indulge in all her wishes whenever she decided to go this or that way, stop to see a little animal or a particularly beautiful view.

At some point, Byakuya stopped to admire her relaxed-yet-determined expression, confident and decided about where she was going as she freely rode the horse one step ahead of him. She was so beautiful. He wondered if she could have really changed so much, in a time lost in his mind. Was she really a shinigami? Had it really been fifty years? This looked like a new woman...

... and he figured he like those changes.

*****

They were far away from the house when Byakuya suggested they let the horses rest and drink a little in a lake nearby. Rukia followed as he guided them.

She watched him as he sat down under a tree to rest and decided to follow suit. She sat by his side, not too close, but not too far away and they stayed there in silence for a while, enjoying the peacefulness reflected in the very still water.

Rukia admitted she was getting used to his presence - she had spent more time with him that day than in all her time living in the Kuchiki mansion. It had been a surprisingly enjoyable day; she was even able to engage in some small talk about trivialities of the Kuchiki house with him, to which, in reply, he showed an interesting sense of humor she didn't know existed.

But now that the convenient distance of the horses was not there, she started to feel too wary of his presence again, so she changed her focus, gazing at the sky and its gorgeous display of red and yellow instead. It was a particularly beautiful sunset, she noticed, as a light breeze touched her face, the sunlight creating visible rays as it hit and crossed the orange clouds.

"I have always considered the moonlight more endearing to your features," he started to talk suddenly, bringing her out of her contemplation, "but you seem incredibly beautiful in the sunset as well."

Rukia half-looked at him after his comment, her heart beat accelerating, as she noticed he had moved closer to her, to a point that he was invading her personal space. He had a loving gaze fixed on her that could only mean one thing, as he approached her even more, his face getting closer and closer…

She dodged his face and said, hurriedly, standing up:

"B-Byakuya-sama… can we go home? W-We still-have-a-long-way-back-and-it is-almost-dinner-time- and-I-feel-tired," she knew she had talked too fast as she numbered the reasons why they shouldn't stay there any longer.

He obliged and they went back home, and the meal was too silent that evening.

Rukia wondered if the silence was a good or a bad thing, since she still had to negotiate where she was staying for the night…

---

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And that's it for now! This chapter was getting so big that I decided to divide it in two to keep it the usual size. So the "what happens that night" had to be postponed for next chapter, but it is with my beta now so it should not take long (thanks again to dear Pixiefh for doing this for me!).

For now, let me know what you think, plz review! :)


	7. Chapter 7

As promised, chapter 7. I hope you like it! ^^'

Also, if you haven't voted already, let me know your opinion about the rating change, here or in my livejournal (winn-12 livejournal com).

Well, enjoy!

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Rukia looked reluctantly at the door in front of her, 'their' bedroom's door. She wondered if she should knock but decided against it.

After the uncomfortably silent dinner, Rukia had followed her brother upstairs and, gathering some clothes to change, she had gone looking for a bathroom – in another room.

Now she was going back, hoping to get her belongings and negotiate her case for a separate room. She stood there, outside the door, procrastinating, reluctantly wondering the chances of this being a smooth conversation.

She sighed and entered the room… just to find it empty. He was nowhere in sight. 'Probably still in the bathroom', she figured, sitting on the bed, ready to wait for a few minutes.

Rukia looked up as she heard her brother coming out of the bathroom, and his eyes fell on her.

They were cold and serious - much more familiar than they had looked the whole day. Before she could stand up in respect, like she usually did, and start the arguing that she was dreading, he spoke:

"There is something I wish to discuss."

Hmm, weren't those supposed to be her words? She remained seated and waited, looking at him.

"You have been avoiding me," he pointed out, displeased.

Rukia gulped - this would not be good.

"T-That is not true… Byakuya-sama. We had a very pleasant day together."

Which was more than they ever had in their lifetime, she felt like adding.

"You have been acting in private as if we had eyes on us all the time. You are not acting like yourself. You avoid getting close to me - you did not even serve me the tea at dinner as customary. You are behaving strangely. Why?" His tone sounded more like an accusation than a real question.

She tried to answer it with as much truth as she was allowed:

"I am simply treating you in a proper manner."

'Damn, so Hisana used to serve him tea, too?' Rukia noted mentally. Now she would never do it as before. That explained why she felt he was not entirely comfortable when she did… Well, it was a good thing that she was not treating him as his wife. He will be glad when he recovers his memories, right? Why couldn't he just remember already?

Her mental complaint was interrupted as he continued:

"You tense when I am near you, you avoid my contact, you refuse to kiss me, how is that in any way proper for a wife to treat her husband?"

'Because I'm not your wife! Gosh, What should I do?' she thought, exasperated.

Her silence was bothering him, and he demanded more loudly:

"Talk to me, Hisana. Tell me what is wrong," he ordered, pressing for an answer. He had approached her, stopping right in front of her, and he seemed impossibly tall from her sitting position.

Rukia was getting nervous at his tone, his closeness and her complete lack of a good solution for the situation.

"T-There is nothing wrong, I told you, I… It's just I'm not... I don't... " What could she answer if she just couldn't say it?

"What is it then? You don't what? You do not want it? Are you tired of me?"

She could see a hint of hurt in his cold grey eyes. 'N-No' she heard herself answering faintly at this realization - she didn't want him to get hurt at all.

They stood there looking at each other in silence for a moment. And then Rukia noticed a faint narrowing of his eyes, and saw him getting closer, resting his arms on both sides of her.

"Kiss me," he demanded.

"W-What? N-"

"Kiss me and then tell me you do not want it."

He didn't wait for a response and immediately crushed her lips in a hot, passionate kiss. His hands reached for her wrists, holding them down, pinning her down, and she felt his body pressing hers against the bed.

Byakuya used her muffled protests to deepen the kiss and she felt his hot tongue entering her mouth, dominating hers.

She had never been kissed like this, with such intensity, so much... desire.

It was… affecting her, more than she dared to admit. Her body was reacting to it and her mind was getting hazed, and after a few moments of struggle, too soon she started to give in… closing her eyes… perhaps even…

The kiss was mind-numbing and she didn't take the opportunity to stop as he released one of her hands and reached for her hips, her waist, sliding along her body and holding her possessively. She could feel his ragged, hot breath inside her mouth, and it was intoxicating.

It was almost impossible to notice anything else, except the weight and heat of his body against hers, only the flimsy fabric of their night robes separating them. She could feel every inch of him, of his firm, perfect body… searching for hers, wanting her, touching her.

His touches burned her skin, and Rukia realized how much her body was reacting to them. Her heart was racing, she could barely breathe - it was as if he had set her body on fire… wanting it… desiring…

… her brother. That was her brother.

Rukia opened her eyes and broke the kiss immediately, pushing him as forcefully as she could and going back to a seated position, resting both her hands on the mattress for support. She tried to control her breathing.

'She reacted even better than usual', he observed, looking at her back.

"As I thought, it does not seem like you do not want it, so it is something else. What is it then?"

At hearing those words, Rukia looked at him wide-eyed, in panic. She was doomed! Why? Why had she reacted like that? Had she gone crazy? He was going to remember it all later! It-it would be the most embarrassing moment of her life! He would remember her improper behavior, he would… he would hate her for not revealing the truth before things got so far!

"I-I am deeply sorry!" she muttered desperately. 'Oh, God, I am so sorry, I did not know what to do-I should not have let you, I-Please forgive me, n-!" She yelped, covering her mouth with her hand before she uttered the rest of that forbidden word.

Byakuya looked at her, trying to understand her reaction. Was she really apologizing for the kiss? Was she still thinking she was her sister or something like that? Maybe her mental state had not improved during the day as he had supposed, he wondered, disappointed.

"Why are you apologizing?" He had concern in his voice this time.

Rukia barely heard his question. What should she do? What would _he_ do when he finds out? Disown her? 'He is definitely going to hate me for that!'

She didn't notice she spoke her last thoughts loud enough for him to hear it.

"Why are you under the impression that I would hate you for behaving like my wife? I could never hate you. Never."

Rukia could not help it as images of her time in prison flashed through her head. Images of his coldness, as he announced her death sentence; as he attended her execution. Even though it had been successfully interrupted. Even though he apologized later. Even though he saved her a thousand times after that.

"Yes, you could," she answered in a serious, grave tone. 'And maybe will, again,' she thought sadly, imagining that same cold expression looking at her again. Or not looking at all.

After a few silent seconds he spoke:

"So it was something I did, I see." He concluded, with a pensive gaze. "It seems to be yet one more thing to add to the list of things I do not remember," he added, a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"You don't remember now, but you will," she answered, pensive as well. "You will understand then. And then things will go back to the way they should be," she said, reassuringly. Why was it that those words didn't bring her any reassurance or satisfaction as they should?

"I certainly hope so," he answered. After a few seconds, he added: "May I apologize, even if I do not remember?"

Rukia smiled faintly, remembering when he risked his life to save hers and his confession while stil injured, on top of Sōkyoku Hill.

"You already did. There is nothing else to apologize for," she clarified.

"So you forgave me?" He asked.

"Yes, long ago. Everything is fine, as it should be."

"It does not seem so. Why are you behaving like this?" She could still sense some hurt on his words.

Rukia sighed. What a crazy conversation to have! They were talking about two different things, she realized. She explained patiently:

"I am treating you exactly as I should, n—" she suppressed the 'nii-sama' on her tongue. "As it is proper," she amended. "I am behaving exactly like you would want me to. You will understand when you recover your memories," she reassured him again.

Yes, she was behaving like she should - except for that disturbing reaction a few minutes ago, her mind had to remind her.

"I am sorry if I find that a little hard to believe," he answered in a rispid tone.

They stood there in silence for a while.

Byakuya sighed, exasperated.

"Let's retire," he ordered.

Realizing they were already sitting on the bed, she immediately stood up, as if it was suddenly burning her.

"I was actually wondering if I could sleep in the oth-"

That was it. He would not let her indulge in any illusions or stand this behavior of hers any longer, unless she gave him a proper explanation and told him directly what was wrong. He would not let her go away.

"Even if you are resentful of me for some reason that I cannot remember, that does not excuse you from being my wife - this is not an appropriate behavior for a married lady," he said in a stern tone.

Then he spoke in a much softer one: "Is it that unbearable for you to share a bed with me?"

Rukia felt guilty after his last phrase. She couldn't help it and she was hurting him again.

"N-No," she answered, ashamed that her answer felt too sincere after it left her mouth. "But it is not proper. Believe me, you would not want me to," she tried to explain.

"Well, I _assure you_ that such is my wish at the present moment," he said imperiously, finishing the subject. Rukia knew that was an order and that he was very displeased with her impertinent behavior.

'_Dear God_, how had this conversation developed into a marital problem?' She wondered. And she wasn't even married! It was just too surreal.

She reluctantly obeyed, joining him on the bed, but keeping a safe distance.

It was impossible to procrastinate any longer, she had to put this to an end. As much as it would hurt him, she would have to confront him with the truth, _and soon_. This craziness had to stop. Even though she had spent the whole day trying to avoid talking about all the things he had forgotten, tomorrow she would start bringing stuff into the conversation and see if she could force him into remembering anything. They could not go on like this. For the sake of her sanity.

Resolute, she tried to avoid any further thoughts on her reaction some minutes ago and turned her back to him, trying to sleep.

#####

Byakuya looked at her lithe form lit only by the moonlight and wondered about his confusing situation.

He concluded he had, indeed, forgotten some things – the wound on his head and the fact that he didn't remember being injured in the first place would confirm so. Unohana-taichou had said it too, and that weird new captain reinforced his suspicions. Yet, how could they know how many years he had forgotten? Had it really been fifty years? He couldn't find any obvious changes that could refute or confirm that theory. That would be very unfortunate – fifty years are a considerable amount of time.

He focused his gaze on her again. What could have happened to his dear Hisana in such a long time? Her physical health, at least, seemed to have improved, he noticed, remembering her performance on the horse-riding that day. Had she really become a shinigami? As far as he knew, she did have some spiritual power, but it was too little for her to pass even the most basic training at the academy. She had never shown any interest on it either.

It was a good thing, though, to see her healthy. She was also more confident and daring, in a way he had never expected to see in his life. She had a good disposition, a sparkle in her eyes that he couldn't quite decipher, but enchanted him. He definitely liked those changes.

He did not like other changes that accompanied those, however, he concluded displeased. Hisana had never – ever in her life as his wife – denied him anything. She would obey and oblige in absolutely everything – was it a request, a touch, a kiss or even sex. She would never say no – or say anything, actually. Which could be a little disheartening and frustrating sometimes, but at least she never rejected him.

Now… even though she did submit to his wills as expected and even reacted in a better way than she used to – which was definitely promising - she kept avoiding his contact for some reason and reacting strangely. Was it really her mental state, a syndrome of being her sister? Or a problem in their relationship that created a gap between them? He couldn't quite picture them having an argument, but nowadays… who would know? Perhaps they had the argument before the syndrome? She wasn't talking about being her sister anymore, so she was probably getting better. But he still had to deal with her resentfulness.

He sighed, frustrated. There were so many things he needed to know. And he needed to talk to Unohana-taichou too.

Either way, for now the solution was the same: get her to talk to him so he could find out what happened, make her relax around him and try to rebuild their relationship back to what it should be.

He relaxed, after getting to that conclusion. Yes he would set things back to their proper place, he decided, looking at her beautiful figure, peacefully sleeping by his side.

And he better do it soon, he concluded, gazing at the gape in the fabric of her kimono, which revealed part of the creamy skin of her left breast, and – he narrowed his eyes a little - a hint of a very pinkish...

…She was killing him. She had denied him three times, already – something she had never done before. Yet, that should not be affecting him so much as it was, which was also weird. He was getting so frustrated… it felt like he had not touched her in a lifetime.

Yes, he should better resolve this soon.

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Poor Byakuya, fifty years is a lot of time in celibacy. ;) It is so hard to write this old byakuya and his thoughts - canon Byakuya is so cold and unreachable that it is hard to even remember he is a real man, with manly thoughts. Oh well, I'm trying my best.

I've been in a very good mood and writing spree lately - I got many ideas for both THhB and P&D in my head, plus some ideas for other fics too (I just wish I had more time to write them down!). But it feels so good. And it had a lot to do with the lovely reviews and PMs you guys sent me lately (thanks a lot!) and also to that awesome omake thing in my livejournal who made my mind boil with ideas! XD It's apparently a fake, unfortunately, but it's still awesome. XD

So yeah, that's is, please review and let me know what you think of the chapter (and the rating)! :)

See ya!


	8. Chapter 8

I know, I know, it took me so long! I'm so sorry. But I told you I would not abandon my stories and I didn't. If I were to give my real reasons for not writing you guys would not even believe me, so... enough with the excuses, on with the story! I hope you guys are still interested in it, and that you like this new chapter. At least I brought you a bigger one, because they always grow a little…

Also, I can't thank you enough for your reviews. I still read every review and they mean a lot to me and keep me going with these stories. Thank you all so much. =)

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_Ikebana- the Japanese art of flower arrangement_

_P.S: I had this chapter planned before I watched the beach episode, so for this story, it did not happen. It was an omake, so it is not exactly canon anyways._

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..

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Rukia was woken up by the sunlight. Remembering her situation, she looked around and noticed her brother was nowhere in sight. Standing up, she noticed he wasn't in the bathroom either, so she took the opportunity to do her morning hygiene and change. After that, she left the room, reaffirming her decision to help him recover his memories before the situation could get any worse – if that was even possible. She would have to be careful, but this couldn't go on any longer.

She found him inside a large office – Seiji had informed her of his whereabouts. He had a brush on his hand, dye in front of him and she could tell he was training calligraphy. She was glad to find him doing such a harmless activity, given his condition.

"Good morning, my love," he greeted her.

"Good morning," she answered, always unsure of how to address him.

"I was waiting for you so we could have breakfast," he added simply. "Do you want to have it on our bedroom?"

"It is almost noon," she concluded absently, looking at the sun outside. There was no need for him to wait for her so much, she wondered guiltily. Remembering he had asked her a question, she added quickly: "No, there is no need."

"I went for a walk earlier today and brought these for you," she followed his gaze and met a gorgeous bouquet of many different flowers over another table. It was… beautiful, and it caught her off-guard. Surprise was shown in her eyes, and she felt a tenderness in her heart that she didn't quite know how to deal with, but before she could dwell on it, she heard his voice continuing: "So you can use them on your ikebana later, if you feel like doing it".

Byakuya was satisfied with her reaction. It seemed she was surprised, but pleased. It was probably a good idea to bring back her old habits and good memories of things they used to do together. He would not let her go away, and his plan was going accordingly.

Rukia knew this was a perfect opportunity to start her plan. She knew she should use it to tell him that she had no idea how to make an ikebana and, as a matter of fact, had never once done it in her life. To enhance how she was a different person, and perhaps help him remember, and go back to being his sister only, like it should be.

And yet, she didn't quite have it in her heart to do so at that moment, and all she could muster was:

"Uh, thank you… "

'_Add something! Anything!_' She told herself. '_How do I say it_?'

"I… am not good on… that," she added poorly.

He seemed to have taken her reaction for modesty and dismissed it with a kind smile and stood up, leaving his work unfinished, and she knew she was supposed to follow him. He ordered their food to be served in the dining room.

It was a sunny day outside and a breeze was coming through the large window. Rukia looked at his gracious form across the table, eating peacefully. He seemed to be in a bright mood, and for a moment she feared and regretted the impending doom of their situation and the effect it would have upon him. She would have to act to make it as smooth as possible. If he was able to recover his memories naturally, instead of having to live the loss of his wife again, it would probably cause him less distress. But she wasn't sure how to help him on that.

She sighed, focusing on her meal, deciding to push the problem to when it would inexorably come. They had a long day ahead.

As soon as they finished their meal, she heard him ask:

"I was wondering if you would like to accompany me at a visit to the shore today. The weather seems to be adequate."

"T-The shore?" She repeated. She had only seen the sea in pictures or TV in the living world. She had never heard of it when she was living in the Rukongai, nor had she ever had the opportunity to visit it after she became a noble. It had always seemed intriguing and fun, though, and the idea of going was exciting.

"Yes, do you mind?" He asked politely at her reluctance.

"No, not at all. I would like it very much," she answered honestly. And she wondered if she was supposed to act as if she had been there…

He merely nodded, acknowledging her answer. When they finished the meal she thanked him and he said:

"Well, get ready then, we will leave shortly," and he left the room.

####

The sun was still shining brightly as they left, a fresh breeze caressing their faces as the he took her by horse there. This time Rukia was straddled behind him and had to hold his torso for balance, which seemed even stranger than last time, since she seemed to be hugging him to sustain herself, but he seemed oblivious to her discomfort, or acted like it.

As she watched the little yellow butterflies flying over the bushes nearby, she realized she recognized the path – she had seen the sea in the road to the house when they arrived - it didn't seem to be far away from there.

She broke away from her reverie when Byakuya stopped next to a cliff and she had a gorgeous view of the blue sea. He dismounted and helped her out of it, and Rukia admired how beautiful the landscape was. She notice a long stairway carved on the rock, that would go all the way down and finished on the sea sand. Byakuya went down the first steps and courteously offered her his hand to help her on it. Stepping carefully on them, Rukia couldn't help but notice how much of a gentleman he was, and, more surprisingly, how different he could be when we was not trying to keep a physical distance from everyone – or her, in the case.

"It's beautiful," she decided loudly as she looked happily at the horizon of bluish turquoise water.

Byakuya looked at her with a smile of satisfaction at her excitement.

Rukia decided to take off her sandals and try the water on her feet. As she started to take off her sandals she realized she might be doing something inappropriate and stopped, looking at him.

"Erh.. May I? She inquired.

He nodded briefly with a kind smile. "I know you probably miss it," he acquiesced.

Rukia smiled and walked in a fast pace to the sea, raising her kimono a bit to avoid it getting wet. Soon the girl was happily trying to jump the small waves or exploring the sea shells that could be found in the sand or the shallow water. Byakuya was still fascinated on how his Hisana could have changed so much, doing things with a spark of life and a spontaneous grin that seemed to have substituted the peaceful sad smiles that used to adorn her face.

"Do you wish to go until the rocks?" He offered, pointing at a stony formation that created a bay, invading the sea until deeper water. Rukia could see the waves hitting the large rocks with more intensity there, spraying water in the air from time to time, and nodded excitedly. Sandals in hand, she started to follow him, one half-step behind as usual.

They walked in silence, feeling the salty wind, and Rukia could not help the feeling of being too self-conscious about her brother's presence. He was still silent as usual, but she could feel a tenderness and loving watchfulness emanating from him. 'So this is how Kuchiki Byakuya love… ' she observed, looking at him with the corner of her eye. Rukia had always observed how devoted to his duties he was, but she had never had the opportunity to see how he could be devoted to something, or somebody else. 'It seems Kuchiki Byakuya never do things halfway', she concluded with a hint of a smile on her lips.

The couple walked for a while until they reached the place where the stones started in the sand, and from there, started escalating the rocks until they could reach to the part that would go into deep water. Rukia followed his lead on where to step to not slip. The last rock, however, was too big for her. She knew a simple jump with shunpo would solve it, but before she could do so, Rukia felt his hands on her waist, delicately lifting her from the ground and bringing her up with him.

Rukia felt herself blushing at how close he was when she found herself being slowly put in the ground, his hands still on her waist, his grey eyes intense and so close. She could never get used to this behavior of absolute lack of ceremony in touching her like he owned her.

But soon the moment was gone and she decided to stop overthinking and just enjoy the view. She looked at the rocky formation extending into the sea and decided to get a closer look on where the waves were hitting the barrier strongly, forming whirlpools of dangerous, turbulent water.

Rukia contemplated the crashing of the waves on the rocks and the whirlpools for a moment, the view so greatly resembling her feelings. It was easier to look at the water with due care and fear instead of facing the internal whirlpool that seemed to be forming inside her heart, since this whole confusion started and especially after the kiss in the previous night. That one she did not want to face yet, albeit she could not help but acknowledge it, as real as the ones in front of her eyes.

She knew she should be trying to find ways to recover his memory, but at that moment, she could not bring herself to do so… for once she decided to enjoy her moment at the shore, the breeze, the sun, the salty wind… and his calming, reassuring presence by her side.

They stood there for a while, both appreciating the silence and the prodigal nature, until she noticed him standing up and saying:

"Come. There is a place I want to show you."

They walked together in the sand for a while until they got to a different rocky formation. This one, Rukia saw, formed a cave, which the sea had started to touch. She followed him inside.

The walls were illuminated by the light that would come from the big entrance, she observed as they walked away from it. They kept going inside and away from the light until they got into a chamber in which Rukia spotted a lake of the most bluish, still water, illuminated by a single ray of light coming down from a hole in the ceiling.

"Oh wow, this is beautiful! And very peaceful," she observed, basking in the quietness of the place. Even the sound of the sea seemed far away now.

"It is indeed. It can only be seen at this time of the day. Soon, that ray of light won't be there, and the sea will invade the entrance of this cave, so we cannot stay for long."

She nodded, taking a moment to enjoy the view and then following him outside. As they passed the entrance, the sea had already advanced a bit, but they crossed it without problems. When he was helping her out of the last rock, a big wave hit its extremity, splashing some water. He pulled her fast against himself, managing to pull her out of it, albeit both were covered by a spray of salty water.

Rukia looked up from her half-wet hair and saw his equally half-wet one and started to giggle.

It did not last long, though, for she was soon hit by the impropriety of her laugh, followed by the impropriety of having her brother in wet clothes so closely attached to her body, then the impropriety of his hands around her pulling her even closer and raising her face, followed by the improper delightful scent coming from him which reminded her of the even more improper kiss of the night before...

And as if chained by her own improper thoughts, there it was again, materialized into reality: He was kissing her again, this time in a sweeter away, but no less intense than the other, and it felt almost bittersweet that she knew she had to stop and…

Before she managed to do so, he broke up the kiss, and added:

"I adore your laugh."

As if the shock of the kiss was not enough, Rukia felt even more surprised by his words. They were definitely not something she expected to ever hear, coming from him.

She felt her cheeks burn, but he spared her the embarrassment and started to walk back home and she followed, one step behind and in silence, as customary.

Even if she tried to keep her behavior in check, she could not help but feel bothered by her reactions. She should not react like this when he kissed her. She should have been the first to break it, she should... act fast, she should try to avoid it, she should…

She was lacking decision, Rukia concluded, with a hint of disappointment at herself. And worse, she knew why… more than her reactions, her thoughts, albeit hidden, were bothering her even more, for in her mind she could contemplate them in all their impropriety.

Maybe it was just the fact that he was a very handsome man, Seireitei's most desired bachelor – she tried to convince herself. But she looked at him and felt again that giddy feeling in her stomach at his presence, and remembered with a smile how he waited for her and brought her flowers and was so attentive and kind and how she felt so safe by his side, so at peace as they just walked together as they were doing at that moment…

'No,' she decided. Whatever that feeling was, it had no place in this world and it was better off alone and forgotten. This whole situation would be over soon, and she should stick to her plan of helping him in his delicate predicament as she proposed herself. Her behavior had been unacceptable!

When they arrived home, Rukia excused herself for some private time until dinner, in hopes to avoid his company and more improper situations and to distance herself a bit so that she could go back to following her plan and help him with the proper detachment, as much as it was allowed.

####

She could not avoid him forever, though, and dinner time came. After a bath and chaging into a new kimono, she joined him at the table. He seemed to have notice her change and was deep in thought again, and the silence of the meal almost made her feel as if everything was back to normal. Until he broke the silence:

"Considering I have not seen them until now… I assume we do not have children,"

Rukia was caught by surprise. No, no, no… she did not want to have this conversation. It was bound to be uncomfortable. She would rather avoid the dangerous topic, but that was certainly not an option at the moment. What would Hisana answer to that?

"No, my lord," she replied simply, looking at the floor.

"Is there anything wrong with your health?"

There was nothing wrong with _her _health, as far as she knew. She wouldn't know about Hisana's health, or why they never had children in the past.

"Not that I know of, Byakuya-sama," she answered honestly, and the conversation was getting more awkward by the minute, as she had predicted.

"You do seem a lot healthier than I remember," he added, with a scrutinizing stare on her. "But have you visited the fourth division?"

"I received a checkup when I became a shinigami and there was nothing wrong with my health. After that, I was tended by them many times, after battles," she again tried to answer as truthfully as she could. Maybe mentioning her time as a shinigami would help his memories.

"I see," he said, pausing for a moment. "Was there any problem with me, then?" He asked, searching for the truth in her eyes. As far as he knew, he was perfectly healthy and capable of having children.

Rukia gulped. Was he really asking about his… sexual health?

"I-I would not know about that… Byakuya-sama," she answered, blushing.

Byakuya narrowed his eyes slightly.

"We are not trying," he concluded by her reactions.

Rukia did not know what to say to that. No, he was certainly not trying it with his dead wife. As for she, she was definitely not trying to get pregnant either… let alone with her brother!

"I take from your lack of answer that I am correct," he concluded, eyeing her.

Well, that would explain her reluctance towards him, the lack of an heir, and his peculiar need, he concluded. But why?

"If we are both healthy, and I am still the head of the clan, why is it that we are not trying to have the next heir? I know that this subject has always saddened you greatly, both because of your own wish and your duties to the clan, so now that you are healthier, how come we still do not have a child?"

Great. Now what could she possibly answer to that?

"We are not – how do they call it in the living world? – divorced, are we? The family would never see that as agreeable," he considered.

"No, I do not think they would," she agreed.

"So we simply live as if we were?" he questioned, looking at her.

Rukia felt tempted to let him believe in that. It would make her life a lot easier. Yet, it was a blatant lie, and it would probably confuse his memories even more.

"We live as... as... we should. Please, Byakuya-sama, everything will make sense when you recover your memories," she tried to stop his inquiries.

"Must you be so resentful? I speak the truth when I say I do not remember what I did that lead us to this, but whatever it was, was it so terrible that it cannot be buried in the past?"

"I-I… do not resent you," she tried to answer with a half-truth.

He paused after her words, falling into a thoughtful silence, before observing:

"You seemed very sure of yourself when you mentioned I could hate you, yesterday."

His words echoed in the room, meeting the silent walls.

"I cannot phantom what could lead me to ever hate you," he added.

"I went against Seireitei's laws in my job as a shinigami, and brought shame upon the family. You read my sentence for me and even attended my execution," Rukia answered, with a sigh. She disliked the topic but maybe the truth was just what they needed.

At those words, he frowned in disbelief, questioning her mental state again.

"That is not possible," he said firmly, both to reaffirm his conclusion about never hating her and to point out the logical inconsistency of her having an execution and still being there in front of him.

"I would not let things get to such point," he stated with decision.

Rukia remembered he had no memory of his promise to his parents, since it was made after her sister's death, so in his mind that whole situation would not make sense. Back then, when Hisana was alive, he truly would do anything for her. Rukia sighed inwardly, a side of her briefly wishing that he could still feel so much for… someone.

####

Bedtime found them awkwardly laying with their backs to each other, both lost in thought.

Rukia was glad she was able to follow her decision this time. She tried to be as honest as possible, to deliver the truth partially to help him remember, to act as normally as she was allowed, in an appropriate manner. Yet, it did not seem to be working much for now. He still saw her as his wife, and kept trying to make sense of her words and fit it into the reality of fifty years ago. But hopefully those inconsistencies would help him recover his memories, so she would have to be patient. A side of her, though, felt sorry to imagine him going back to his usual self, when she could see he was so happy and so different by her side. Her sister's side. When his life was ruled by love, a love so great that it was even greater than his duties or his pride.

And it felt just a little wrong, to witness, or worse, to help him lose that side… again.

Byakuya did not know what to think of the information she offered, or in what to believe. Most of it did not make sense, but it was clear he had a troublesome situation in his hands. If in fifty years they did not have an heir, it seemed the situation was going on for quite some time too, which explained her strange behavior towards him.

Nonetheless, his plan was still valid. He wanted his Hisana back, and Kuchiki Byakuya always got what he wanted. He still loved her dearly, her sweet, warm presence by his side still made him the happiest man on Seireitei, and he even appreciated the changes she went through in these years, and how healthier and happier she seemed. And it did not escape him that his plan was, in fact, working, if their good time at the shore was any indication, and that could only mean she was not uninterested in him as she tried to pretend to be for the sake of whatever she seemed to see as her duty and appropriate behavior. Maybe their conjugal problems were even the trigger to her mental distress, since he knew she was vulnerable to emotional distress, as he witnessed with her guilty about her sister. Therefore, it was the right thing to do. If feeling safe was what she needed, he would make it happen, if rebuilding what they had was what it took, he would see to it. He would have her back.

* * *

And that's it for now. I hope you are still reading this and liked it. Please let me know!

Take care,

Wynn


	9. Chapter 9

Hello dear readers! Yes, it took me longer than predicted... real life has been troublesome. But, because you guys are the best ever and gave me so many motivating reviews (I really cannot thank you enough!), I hope I can make up for it: this chapter is exactly twice the side of the already bigger chapter 8. Yes, 14 pages instead of 7. So it's like you're getting two chapters in one... which is partially why it took me so long, of course. I hope you like it, I put a lot of my soul into it. I usually do, when it comes to Byaruki. Enjoy. :)

P.S: thank you dear Ralenore for betaing it for me.

* * *

_Japanese words and terms:_

_Kyūdō (__弓道__?), literally meaning "way of the bow", is the Japanese art of archery._

_Kabuki (__歌舞伎__kabuki?) is classical Japanese dance-drama. Kabuki theatre is known for the stylization of its drama and for the elaborate make-up worn by some of its performers._

_Mae – "Dance"_

* * *

..

.

The complete darkness indicated not many hours had passed since Rukia had fallen asleep. The young girl was brought from her slumber by a certain movement and even in her dizzy, half-conscious state, she could not help but notice the reason of her awakening: she had been pulled by her waist across the bed, and was now unmistakably pressed against the warm, muscular form of her brother. That was enough to quickly bring her out of her sleepy state.

"E-Erh… Byakuya-sama?" she whispered very softly and embarrassedly, trying to move away from him.

In response, he simply pulled her even closer in a tight embrace, his hand firm in her abdomen, and buried his face on her neck. His breathing evened out soon after, indicating he had fallen asleep again.

"B-Byakuya-sama," she tried again with no success.

'Great, I'm trapped,' she concluded hopelessly. His left arm was crossed over her, holding her firmly against him, keeping her against his body. She tried delicately to disentangle herself from his embrace, but her efforts, if anything, only made her rub herself against him, and soon she stopped trying, feeling embarrassed.

Rukia laid there in the dark, looking at the ceiling. With a hint of guilt, she sighed dejectedly and decided to accept it.

Truth be told, it was not such a bad thing, to be in his arms… not a bad thing at all… She could feel the heat radiating from him, the loving embrace, the nice masculine scent coming from his skin, so close… His breath on her neck gave her goose bumps at each exhalation, triggering her imagination of those lips coming closer to her skin… his closeness incited all kind of forbidden thoughts on her head. It was impossible to ignore the fact that every woman in seireitei would die to be in her place, in the arms of Kuchiki Byakuya, the cold and aloof Sixth Division captain. If she were to think about that, she would never sleep, strange and impossible as it was.

But he was not "the most desired bachelor of soul society" to her… and, she remembered, she had fallen asleep earlier that night without even thinking twice. No… his presence also caused her an undeniable feeling of protection, calm and warmth. She was getting used to sleeping by his side every night, to his closeness, his presence, even if the physical intimacy was still thrilling and unsettling. She started to not flinch so much when he would randomly take her hand in his, making her heart skip a beat, or when he would touch her carelessly, as if she belonged to him… it started to not feel so wrong as it should, as if she was getting used to his strange proximity. Or worse… cherishing it.

It was impossible to describe the paradoxical feelings he stirred up inside her, sometimes making her heart beat so fast that she felt silly and foolish like a little girl, and in others bringing her an inexplicable, warm, peaceful feeling of belonging… It was hard to pick which was more nonsensical or inappropriate.

Rukia tried to take her mind out of those thoughts, but it was hard when his embrace was still there, constantly reminding her and inciting all those feelings all over again. Her mind would easily travel to his little displays of love and affection that would make her heart flutter just by remembering them. And now, being there, lying in a bed with him, tightly held in his arms… it just felt so good, so right…

Except that bothersome little voice in the back of her mind reminding her that she should NOT be feeling this well in his arms… much less expect it to last. What was she doing, what was she thinking? What were all those feelings doing in her chest?

It was hard to ignore the havoc inside her, but Rukia tried her best not to think about it… it was scary to say the least. Where could all this take her, but to pain? She would rather not feel, not think. She did not want to see, or acknowledge. But it felt almost impossible, as it only grew more and more, as if it would soon not fit her small chest, and while it felt exhausting to ignore it, it was even more tiresome to feel it accompanied by all the fear and regret that it caused her.

Rukia sighed, feeling emotionally drained, and tried to shut her mind, making it go blank, devoid of all thought. The girl opened her eyes, looking at the ceiling for a few seconds. In that hour of the night, concealed by blessed darkness, she really did not want to deal with all that. Instead, she closed her eyes and, hugging the covers, decided to let herself enjoy the feeling of being in his arms a little. She knew, deep inside, that she was being regretfully indulgent with herself, but she just wanted to taste what it would feel like to be truly his, to not repress all those feelings in her chest, all those sensations in her body. No one would ever know about that little moment, away from time and space, away from reality, shrouded by the night. Just a little, she could pretend to be happy… right? To feel the taste of it. Just a little.

Soon all she could feel was his embrace again, and when sleep came, it found her with a smile on her face.

####

The feelings still lingered in her dreams, though, and it did not feel as strange as it should when she felt a warm body moving over her and lips grazing the porcelain skin of her neck in a passionate manner. She merely turned a bit, enjoying the feeling. That was enough for the same warm lips to reach and capture hers…

Rukia smiled a bit, indulging in the warm feeling of being held and all the good sensations; Hmmmm – everything felt so good. Hands were traveling over her body, awakening it with wonderful sensations, while the girl slept, unaware of her situation. She started to kiss him back, the feeling not so different from her thoughts before falling asleep or her dreams, except now it felt a little more vivid, overloading her senses with sensations, textures, scent, heat… yes, she wanted him… very much… it felt so good, so wonderful, so vivid…

The kiss deepened and she started responding to it, and it was only when he reached for the opening of her kimono that she noticed everything was a little… a little… too real to be a dream!

The girl snapped back to reality with wide eyes.

And reality consisted of her half-naked, trapped under the weight of her brother, who also seemed to have his kimono opened - for she could feel his skin everywhere - and was currently occupying her vision – and her mouth – with a most ardent kiss. His strong arms enwrapped her from underneath, keeping her even closer to him.

The surprise of her position made her gasp, even more as it coincided with warm fingers that just reached her delicate breasts under her opened kimono. He probably understood her gasp as a reaction to his action, for he took no heed and continued to kiss her passionately. Rukia felt his warm tongue in her mouth, coaxing hers, guiding them to most pleasurable sensations - and she found herself responding to it, even before she was aware of her situation.

She knew she had to stop him, but that was a tiny, tiny thought, buried under a cyclone of overwhelming sensations, igniting her body, burning her soul, and it was hard to not close her eyes and just get carried away with the kiss. It was almost impossible to think, her mind still hazy from the sleep and from desire. Rukia knew that, if she let him, he would take her then and there, and her cheeks burnt in shame for welcoming the thought.

She opened her eyes and this time she could get a good glimpse of him, kissing her, his body over hers, the surroundings of the richly decorated bedroom… the view was… No! This was her brother, she should be protecting him from himself! It was wrong! He would remember it!

"N-Nii-sama! N-No! P-Please!" She tried to say, breaking the kiss and trying to disentangle from him.

He put some distance between them but did not move from over her, looking at her in silence instead.

Rukia took the opportunity to close her kimono as much as possible and try to save some of her modesty. Then she raised her eyes to meet his and they kept looking at each other in awkward silence. Rukia could swear she saw some disappointment in his eyes.

"Hisana," he started to say.

"I am not! I am not her! This madness cannot go on!" she said loudly, voicing her despair.

He merely looked at her impassively again. It was unnerving when she could not read him like that.

"I am sorry, Nii-sama, but I am not her! I am not who you think I am!" she continued, torn between her fear of causing him any harm and the pain the situation was causing in her chest. "Please! We-We cannot… this is-!"

Rukia felt the words constricting her throat, that typical feeling of when she was about to cry. But she would not do it now, not in front of him, so she moved away from him and breathed hard instead, trying to hold the tears in her eyes and put her feelings back under control.

"Shhhh. Come back to bed," he ordered, making room for her.

She reluctantly obeyed.

"I will not do anything you do not want, woman. You should know that."

The girl merely nodded, unable to meet his eyes. His words reminded her that it was not as if she did not want it, which was the worst of it all.

"There is no need for fear, or for us to rush things. Go back to sleep."

Rukia laid back in bed again, this time as far as possible from him, turning to the other side.

Byakuya kept staring at his wife, worried about her reaction. Was it a bad sign? Maybe not necessarily… she may have snapped exactly because she noticed her own reactions, because she had to acknowledge to herself her feelings for him.

And when sleep came for both, it was his time to be found with a smile on his face.

#####

Rukia was brought from her slumber by a pleasant voice whispering softly in her ear.

"_Hisana."_

'_Uh?_' She wondered in confusion. She was probably still dreaming. It was so warm and comfortable…

She felt a tender caress on her hair and heard the voice speak again in the same tone:

"_Wake up, my love."_

Rukia opened her eyes as she felt lips touching her lips, and found a very close figure. One that should not be there.

"Erh, Byakuya-… sama!" She immediately rose to a sitting position, alarmed, disengaging from his embrace.

"Good morning, my dear."

"Good morning," she answered mindlessly, reliving what had happened during the night in her mind, and her current position. She fixed her sleeping kimono self-consciously.

"Your breakfast is here," he informed her, moving the tray from his bedside table to their bed.

Rukia simply blinked. Was Kuchiki Byakuya, the great 28th Head of the Kuchiki clan really bequeathing her a breakfast in bed? She was sure he had never given such attentions to anyone else except her sister and suddenly felt bad for being there, enjoying the pleasantries of a love that was not directed to her.

"Uhn, there was no need…" she started to say, but he added:

"Please make sure you are well fed."

So that was it, he was still worried about her health. Rukia suddenly remembered he was the one still recovering.

"Won't you join me?" She offered in hopes he would agree. It was enough food for three people.

He nodded and joined her in the meal.

Rukia felt slightly embarrassed by the intimate situation, so she decided to bring up a conversation and break the awkwardness.

"How is your head?"

"I do not feel pain anymore," he answered simply. The girl nodded with a brief smile. Rukia noticed he had removed the bandages and the wound seemed much better, only a faint closed scar in place. It probably wouldn't take long until he was perfectly well again.

After some minutes, Rukia noticed an old woman by the door. It was Mariko-san, their personal servant and - now she knew - Seiji's wife. She was the only one allowed in their chambers and wherever they were to ensure calm and privacy during their stay . The woman kneeled and bowed humbly, then spoke:

"Are you finished, my lord, my lady?"

"Yes," Byakuya informed her.

"Excuse me," she added, entering the room to retrieve the silver tray. Then, she asked:

"Should I open the windows, my lord?"

Byakuya nodded and she did as instructed, leaving the bedroom in silence afterward .

"It is a rather cloudy day," he observed. Rukia could see the white, cloudy sky, with some greyness that could only indicate rain. "Not very appropriate for outdoors," she heard him continuing.

Rukia rushed in saying:

"I would still like to visit the woods very much! I… do not mind if rain catches us… the weather is warm anyways." It was true that she wanted to visit the woods, and even more true that she did not fancy the idea of staying indoors with him.

"Very well then, prepare yourself," he conceded.

#####

After helping him with his kenseikan (apparently that was a morning ritual for them and Byakuya would not excuse her from doing it), they left for the stables, where he asked for two horses after she insisted on wanting to train her horse-riding. He offered her his hand to help her mount up, and it was hard not to think of the charming gentleman he was and how such gestures came so naturally to him, without pomposity or pretense… it was just who he was. Rukia tried to banish such thoughts, but every move he made towards her only made it harder for her to see him properly as her brother again.

They rode together up and down the hills, towards the woods, this time taking the opposite way they took to the shore the previous day. The green of the forest contrasting with the cloudy sky was a beautiful view and Rukia felt happy and alive as the wind touched her face, sometimes closing her eyes in joy, unaware of a different grey pair that would follow her every move…

After riding for a while, they met a river that made its way into the forest, and they dismounted and tied the reigns.

"Can we go deeper into the forest?" She asked.

Byakuya remained silent for a moment, and then acquiesced with a nod.

#####

The couple walked a little through the woods. Rukia would go first, her eyes filled with wonder and a childish curiosity, admiring the place, while Byakuya would follow her, like an observant guardian.

The girl followed the river's path inside the forest so as to not get lost. The forest seemed incredibly old, with enormous cedars and pine trees that would make her feel even smaller. It felt comfortable, to be among those ancient trees, and all that silence besides the river's chant… she wanted nothing but to just sit there a bit and enjoy all that peacefulness.

Rukia looked at Byakuya - he did not seem to be so bothered by her incursion through the forest, but rather enjoying it too, or at most indifferent to it. So she did exactly what she felt like: she sat on a rock and just contemplated the trees and the river's flow a bit, absorbing the calmness of the place. Her eyes then rested on a couple of robins building their nest for the baby birds that would probably come soon. The girl noticed how dutifully they worked and could not help but find it too adorable. And for a fleeting moment Rukia wished that she, too, could be… well, building something that would not come crumbling down in a week or so.

She had never really contemplated such things before… all her life had been about surviving, making it out of Rukongai, then focusing on her shinigami duties and in living up to the Kuchiki's name to honor her brother's kindness. The first time she had allowed herself some personal happiness was when she met Ichigo and her nakama in the living world, but even then, it felt like a distant happiness, one that she had stolen, furtively living what was not really hers by right. For the first time since her childhood she had allowed herself to enjoy some careless moments of laughter, with friends, but she always expected it to end, so she always held a part of her heart, not really daring to hope for more. She had had crushes in the past, but this was different… she had never really thought of marriage, of actually building a family with someone before - she had never really dared to dream that far. And now, now that, more than ever, she lived a moment of happiness that certainly did not belong to her, a happiness she was not entitled to, in the most impossible situation, with the most impossible person… now, in the most inadequate of all moments… she caught herself envying the little couple of robins, just a little. She was so doomed.

Rukia did not have time to further indulge in those thoughts, though, because soon big raindrops started to fall, so big that could be felt through the dense coverage of the trees. The girl stood up immediately, going back to where Byakuya was with hurry.

"I'm sorry, ni-Byakuya-sama, it seems I took too long in my exploring," she said quickly, starting to hustle towards where the horses were stationed, but they were too far away.

"It is pointless to hurry," he pointed out calmly.

Rukia realized he was right and slowed down, waiting for him, then joined his pace, one half-step behind him as their usual.

It was indeed pointless to avoid it, and soon they were both dripping wet – Rukia could feel her hair sticking to the side of her face and neck. She wanted to look at him, but kept trying to control herself, only allowing herself glimpses with the corner of her eyes, or when he was not looking. Still, the heavy air and the pouring rain seemed to create a different universe with only the two of them there, in middle of the woods, and she felt painfully aware of his strong presence just beside her, looking extremely handsome and charming as usual. She tried her best to not mind it and remain unaffected.

They could already see the entrance of the forest when suddenly she felt his hand grabbing hers, pushing her backwards a bit. She looked at him with big violet eyes, confused.

Byakuya lifted his other hand to touch her cheek and neck, holding her face and her wet hair, and she could not avert her eyes from his magnetizing grey ones. They kept looking at each other for seconds that seemed to take an eternity.

Rukia thought he tried to say something, but if his lips moved, no words escaped him. After a few seconds, he caught her by surprise, kissing her impetuously instead.

As soon as his lips touched hers she closed her eyes, not even thinking of resisting him this time. Instead, as he deepened the kiss and pulled her body to him, she gave in, and her hands searched for his face and then passed around his neck. It was inevitable, an intense, strong, loving, passionate kiss, as if both wanted to express through it what was held and carved in their hearts.

The kiss lasted an eternity - time might as well have stopped for the both of them. They stood there completely unaware of it, of time, space, propriety or anything else that did not belong to that kiss. Even the thunders and the strength of the storm went unnoticed, and their intensity would only blend in perfectly to the reality of the pair. Sometimes they would breath a bit, feeling the rain pouring down their faces that were still touching, eyes still closed, then they would resume it, consumed in the thirst for the other.

Rukia could feel tears escaping her eyes, but they went unnoticed, mixed with the raindrops.

After an incommensurable amount of time, Byakuya retreated, breaking the kiss, but keeping her close.

"I love you," he whispered in a grave tone. It sounded visceral, almost like a confession. And as if he could have read her mind while she watched the robins some minutes before, he added:

"It will be one of the happiest moments of my life, when you grant me with a child."

He kissed her again, and released her, and Rukia stood there, stupefied by his words. It took her a few seconds to follow him in silence to where the horses were, the words still echoing in her head, her mind, heart and body reacting to them. She could barely breathe.

####

They rode back to the house to change clothes and have a meal. The word of the day was denial – Rukia was avoiding any and every thought daring to cross her mind and intently searched for something – anything - that could distract her from them.

The opportunity did not take long to show up. On their way back she spotted some men training in Kyūdō and took interest in it. All the training she had with aim was limited to some classes of kidou training in the academy, which she never got to finish, so she would be truly interested in practicing if someone could instruct her. She requested it and Byakuya promised they would spend the afternoon on it if she wished.

#####

Byakuya showed her different types of equipment, some of them impossibly big, higher than the height of a man. They were, however, lighter than she anticipated. After choosing something appropriate for her, they went to the fields, where he started to instruct her on how to hold it, to pull it, the right angle, how to position her leg…

After missing the first shot, she started to improve really fast. It was not so hard once she was given the right instructions.

The day was still cloudy and wind brushed her hair, occupying her vision from time to time. At those moments, she would shake her head and patiently wait for her balance and concentration again, until she would fire the arrow. Eventually, Byakuya would come and fix her posture by positioning her hips differently. And Rukia would try to focus on the target, instead of his hands so liberally on her.

Soon she became entranced, devoted to the training, and easily she missed his eyes full of pride and admiration, watching her every move and accomplishment. And too soon, the afternoon was over.

As sunset befell upon them, he instructed her:

"We should go back early today. I want you to prepare yourself. There are festivities in the village tonight and I want you to accompany me."

Rukia nodded, hoping Mariko-san could help her find something appropriate to wear.

#####

"You are so beautiful, my lady," he said, offering his hand, and she met him in the living room before leaving for the village. She was wearing a light purple kimono with red details, her hair in a bun ornamented with a garment of red flowers, with Mariko's help.

It seemed it was typical for the village to have these Sunday celebrations. The good, simple people would reunite during the evening, where a little fair would take place, with lanterns illuminating the place, delicious food, music and eventually some dance or kabuki presentations. That time, however, it was a little more special. They were, after all, subjects of the Kuchiki family by occupying this land, under their protection from the hollows for centuries, and their lord, Kuchiki Byakuya, was honoring them with his presence.

Rukia tried many different dishes of delicious food and watched the artistic presentations with curiosity and enjoyment . They would have a special kabuki presentation that night. She did not know why nor did she dare to think much , but she had a distinct feeling she never felt so happy in her life.

Byakuya was his usual dignified self, but if some knew the Kuchiki lord a little better, or paid closer attention, they could see in his eye a particular glint of happiness, one that had not been there for almost a century, in having the love of his life, his flower, there by his side, holding on his arm.

It was by the end of the play that he felt a disturbance. A spiritual one. He closed his eyes, searching for the source and easily identified it, if the screams of horror echoing in the distance had not announced it already. He stood up, turning towards it only to see a few seconds later the image of a hollow far away chasing a few countrymen.

"How bothersome," he thought, but he would end it soon. Byakuya raised one finger and was about to destroy it with a simple kidou spell when something stopped him…

"Mae, Sode no Shirayuki!"… "Some no Mai: Tsukishiro!"

Byakuya watched in awe as a circle of ice formed around the hollow and shot up from it towards the skies, as far as the eye could reach, entrapping it. Then he watched the column of ice break, destroying the hollow inside. Not far from it he could see the small form of his wife, holding a zanpakutou of the purest shade of white that had materialized in her hands.

The "oohhs" and "aaahhs" coming from the people of the village could not match his surprise. He was inclined to believe she was, indeed, a shinigami now, but it was another thing to see it like that. He could hardly believe his own eyes.

So her spiritual energy materialized in the form of ice, snow… it was such a beautiful move. A dance, she said, if he remembered correctly. And that zanpakutou of the purest white, so beautiful… undeniably fitting for the most beautiful flower. It would never cease to amaze him how she was perfect for him in even the smallest things, and the more he discovered new things about her, and all the changes time brought, the more he would think so.

And then, it struck him… a scene… a familiarity… he had seen that before. He had been in awe before, for the same reasons… he had watched her… in a different place.

The feeling was unsettling. That strange memory… it was disturbing. Not to mention the feelings it brought. The whole situation started to get uncomfortable, and he was not entirely happy she acted before him either, so he decided it was time for them to leave.

Rukia went back to him and realized she had acted on her shinigami instincts and may have overstepped her place. Feeling she had displeased him, she apologized, even without knowing exactly why.

"We shall depart. Now," he said coldly.

After making sure everything was safe in the village, they took the wagon back home in silence, and that icy aura around him, so similar to his old self, easily contaminated her heart with a deep sadness. She really had not missed it yet.

#####

Rukia changed to her nightgown and joined him in bed. It had started to rain again, the sound of falling water coming from outside.

He was still not talking to her. His silence, so common, created a weight in her heart, a mix of fear and pain, she did not dare to get close to him. How come it hurt so much now when he always acted like that towards her before?

She tried to break the silence:

"I am sorry. Is it-" but he did not let her finish.

"There is no need for you to exert your shinigami duties when I am around," he ordered. He did not even know how come he had allowed her to be a shinigami in the first place, risking herself that way. Or how the family had agreed to it, when she should be just carrying his child.

"Hai, my lord," she answered. Was that why he was so upset? That she acted before him? "It will not happen again," she added. 'As long as you think I am Hisana, at least' she conceded in her mind. Surely he never minded it before, when she was only his sister. He never really cared what she did or not, as long as it was not dishonorable to the family's name.

He went silent once more and it was excruciating for her. She did not know why. Why was it so painful? That was his normal self. That was how he always treated her – coldly. And that was how he would be again, as soon as he recovered his memories and stopped loving "her". She was only the fool, for letting him kiss her like that and indulging in dreams that now brought her shame, embarrassing and inappropriate as they were. He might even expel her from the family if he remembered that kiss and her overall behavior when he recovered his memories. That was the real Byakuya. The one that does not love. And she was just a fool.

She decided she would depart before he expelled her. Her behavior had been unacceptable, after all, so she brought it on herself. There was only one thing that was not adding up – for now, this was not her brother, but the Byakuya from 50 years ago, that saw her as his wife. So he did love "her", or should be acting like it. Why was he acting like that, then?

"Is that all, my lord?" she dared to ask.

He looked at her for a moment, then answered in a low, confessing tone:

"I… remembered… your powers. I have seen them before."

Rukia looked at him surprised. "Yes, you have… Is that all you remember? Do you remember in which occasion you saw them?"

"In the fields… near a lake. You were accompanied by Shiba Kaien," he added, with a hint of displeasure.

Rukia opened her mouth in surprise. She used to train in that place when she was still developing her first dance - she had just achieved her shikai. But… her brother… she had no idea he ever watched her there! She did not know what to think.

Still in awe, she added pensively: "That was… really me."

Her words did not make much sense to Byakuya. But the remembrance brought him an uncomfortable feeling, even if he could not pinpoint why. He supposed it was a good thing that he was recovering his memories, but to really face it that some of them were indeed missing like that was unsettling.

But he did not want to let it get in the way of him and Hisana, and to spoil their time together and their rebuilding relationship. They had spent a wonderful day together. He looked at her, who now possessed big eyes filled with worry and fear and his heart warmed up at the sight of it. She was so delicate and fragile. He could never be angry at her for too long.

"I am sorry, my love, you should not trouble yourself with that," he added with a kiss on her head, pulling her closer in their sitting position.

Her heart was still racing and full of apprehension, though.

"It is very beautiful," he said, bringing her out of her stupor. "Your zanpakutou."

"Ahh… thank you," she answered, confused at the change of topic.

"Very fitting," he added, kissing her lips briefly.

The movement caught her by surprise. It was getting harder and harder to resist his advances, to not respond to the kisses… as his lips still grazed hers, Rukia felt even stronger that strange pain in her chest, like a wound that now occupied where her heart should have been. All that love, all those kisses did not belong to her, and it was painful. She could not stand it any longer.

"Ahn… Byakuya-sama?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Can we please… go back home?"

"I thought you were enjoying your time here?" he inquired.

"I-I am! But…"

"What is it that is bothering you, then?"

Rukia thought of the real reason and felt her chest constricting again. It was the right thing to do. He did not belong to her, he did not love her and she could not trust herself around him anymore.

"It is exactly because of that, that I beg you to take me home."

He looked at her confused.

"Please. You will understand it soon enough. Please, my lord, I beg you."

He looked at her, concerned, and stated:

"We can depart on Tuesday in the morning, but not tomorrow."

Rukia nodded humbly.

"Thank you."

"Now tell me what is bothering you," he demanded.

Rukia took some time, and pensively, eyes fixed on the floor, she answered:

"It is hard… to explain to you now. But you will understand soon. I have failed you. So I must leave," she said, more to herself than to him.

He did not like the tone of her words.

"Hisana. Do not be vague, woman, tell me what the problem is."

"The problem is exactly this! I am not her! You have to believe me when I tell you, Byakuya-sama… I am not her. I am not your wife. All this… is wrong. I am not the one you love. I agreed to come because I wanted to be sure you recover well, but, but… all this… I'm not… I'm not the one you love," She wished those words were not so painful as they left her mouth. But she needed to stop deluding herself.

Byakuya looked at her, a mix of love and worry in his face.

"I do not love any other," he said with sincerity. "To me you are the most beautiful woman in the world. The most special. My beloved, my treasure. I love everything about you. To me you are perfect. There could never be any other."

Byakuya caught her hand in his, using the other to hold her face, and continued, from very close: "Do never doubt my love… not even for a second."

At this, Rukia started crying. If only those words were meant for her… if only…

Images of his past, cold self crossed her memories. Soon, too soon, that would be all she would see.

"Please stop. Please stop saying those words. Please believe me. Please…"

"Hisana…" he started, but she continued with her weeping mantra:

"I'm, not her… I'm not you wife… I am your adopted sister… Please… Please believe me… It is not me who you-"

"Silence!" he commanded. Rukia blinked and stopped altogether, looking at him. She expected another crisis or reiatsu bursts, but what came instead was his smooth, steady voice:

"Is that how you see me? A brother? Is that what you want me to be?" he asked, with an undecipherable expression on his face.

Rukia could only gape at him, speechless. What could she possibly answer? She turned to the window, pulling the covers over her legs, and listened to the sound of rain, the only one that could be heard at that moment, while his words echoed in her mind.

"Sleep," he ordered, turning down the lights.

And this time the rain did not carry her tears away - they simply dropped, wetting her pillow and her cheeks. She was way past asleep when they were brushed away.

..

.

* * *

And that is it for now. Poor Rukia, what a blessing and a curse to fall in love intensely and quickly like that... I hope it seems fluid to you guys, these things can develop really fast when you spend entire days in the company of a person... personal experience. Not to mention they are not really strangers, right? I apologize for all the angst, but it had to come eventually. I hope you don't hate me with next chapter... I always think of a thousand ways to write a story, but as I usually say, we can only write one of them... Anyways, stay tuned! And please press the little "Review this Chapter" link and let me know what you think! Take care! :)

Wynn


	10. Chapter 10

OMG guys 350 reviews! You are just awesome! Thank you so much... you have no idea how each one of them motivates me to keep going on with my stories, even though sometimes it is hard or painful for me to write them, it really means a lot. And to celebrate it, here it is, another huuuge chapter for you! I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Japanese words/terms:

Nakama – japanese term for very close friend, comrades, "brother", a friend that is almost family.

Kanzashi – hair ornament.

Kyūdō (as mentioned in the last chapter) – _"way of the bow", is the Japanese art of archery._

* * *

_.._

_._

When Rukia woke up that morning, her first impression was that she was alone in bed. She sat up in time to see Byakuya coming out of their bathroom in his informal clothes, hair wet and loose. It still felt strange for her to be allowed in his privacy like this every day.

Byakuya sat on the bed by her side, in silence. After a moment, he looked at her and spoke:

"Good morning my love."

"Good morning," she answered. She could tell by his posture that something was wrong.

After a moment, he continued. "I have matters to attend to later, but I would like to spend the rest of the day in your company. Would you care to accompany me on a visit to the shore today?"

Rukia merely nodded, not expressing her concern.

"It seems to be a bright day outside. Did you wish to do anything else in our last day here?"

"No, no, I would love to visit the shore again," she answered truthfully.

Byakuya nodded and soon he left their chambers, ordering her to get ready.

Rukia was puzzled by his behavior but did not dwell on it much. The thought of visiting the shore again brought a smile to her face. She remembered fondly her first time there two days ago and was reminded of what her friends had told her about it once more. She wished she could actually go swimming in it, like they did in the living world. Ichigo told her so many times about it. For a moment, Rukia entertained herself imagining her brother's reaction if "getting ready to go to the shore" included fetching a bikini. She always found his protectiveness funny and endearing, she concluded, with a fleeting smile. After changing into a loose kimono that would allow her to feel the wind and walk freely, she left the room joining him downstairs.

#####

The day was indeed sunny and bright, a delicious breeze caressing their faces as they left for the stables.

Before they reached their destination, though, Rukia noticed another smaller wooden construction and deviated from their path a bit to examine it, after a familiar frame of something white got her attention…

"Rabbits!" the girl exclaimed excitedly.

Byakuya could see the transformation in her figure, from serious and pensive to girlish and giggly. As he approached her, it was easy to notice the spark in her eyes.

"Awwwww they are so cute, can I touch them?" she asked. It seemed all the worry in the world had vanished from her mind for a moment.

"Of course," he answered, intrigued and amused by her reactions.

The girl picked up one, caressing it and playing with it.

Byakuya watched the scene in silence, basking in her joy. Then suddenly he froze.

He had… seen that scene before… When? Where?

Rukia noticed his frown and asked.

"Byakuya...sama, is everything alright?"

He shook his head briefly, taking it off his mind.

"Just… have we been here after our honeymoon?"

"I-I… don't think so. Why?"

He stood in silence.

"Was it another flashback? Do you… remember me? What? Playing with rabbits?" She wondered.

He eyed her and answered nothing.

"Here?" She inquired further.

"Perhaps," He answered, with uncomfortable uncertainty.

'Hmm… it was not me, then. Maybe my sister liked rabbits too…' the girl concluded, putting back the little rabbit behind the wooden fence.

"I believe it was in our gardens, at home," he rectified after some thought.

'In our garden… in our gardens?' Rukia considered, surprised. Could it be…? She had found some rabbits in the gardens, five years ago, on the day of her birthday. She was sure they were not there before, or she would have seen them. It crossed her mind back then that it was a birthday gift from him, but he never said anything about it. But… her brother was not nearby when she found and played with them anyways... was he?

"It is unimportant. Let's go."

Rukia nodded and followed him.

#####

Byakuya only asked for one horse for both of them and she did not say anything about it. As they rode it, she tried to remain unaffected by his arms around her, while a side of her cherished and made a point of committing to memory what she would probably miss soon. But it was a bright day, and Rukia decided it should be a happy one, so she closed her eyes and felt the sunlight gently touching her face and let it warm her heart.

They stopped before the stairway that would lead to the shore, but instead of going down, Byakuya guided them to a place underneath a nearby tree, where they could appreciate the view and calmly have their breakfast that had been brought in a picnic basket. As Rukia prepared their picnic, she admired the greenish blue color of the sea taking over the horizon on what seemed to be a very warm day. The beauty and peacefulness of the place brought a smile to her face.

After some moments in silence, his voice surprised her:

"Hisana."

Rukia looked at him – it was a rare event when he would start a conversation.

"Are you happy? Are you happy living with me?"

Rukia was a bit surprised and considered the question before answering.

"It was a great honor to be accepted into the Kuchiki family," she dodged the question. "Byakuya-sama will always have my gratitude-"

"That is not what I asked," he pointed out.

The girl took a long breath, and continued:

"Yes, I am," she continued, pensive. She did not know about Hisana, but she would speak her personal truth. "It was hard, in the beginning, but… as time went by, things got better and better. And in the last months I have lived things that will always be in my mind and heart."

Memories of her nakama and of the many times Byakuya had saved her life crossed her mind. For the first time since her childhood with Renji, she felt like she was not alone. Her friends cared about her. _He_ cared about her. Or at least he used to. That would probably change soon.

Byakuya was pleased by her answer. He feared that he had not been able to make her happy with their marriage, especially since the memories he did have were filled with Hisana's worried expression. But she seemed to be honest about her answer, and he was truly curious about her better disposition as a whole.

'_Is that how you see me? Is that what you want me to be__?_' He hoped his question on the previous night had triggered the desired effect – he did not like to see her cry, and waited for her to fall asleep to brush her tears, but he knew she needed to figure out for herself her own feelings and what she wanted him to be for her. More and more, he was certain that she still had feelings for him, and therefore, it would be a matter of time before things go back to place, but he would have to wait for her to conclude it and admit it to herself, so he had to be patient with her. He expected the dinner he had planned for the two of them that night would confirm his theory and also help her with such realization.

After finishing their picnic, they took the stairway carved on the rock to go down until the shore. This time, he invited her to walk to the other side of the beach, the one they had not explored. Rukia took her sandals off and they started walking by its border where the waves would eventually end, touching their feet.

It did not take long for the girl to get entranced by the beauty of the place, letting herself be carried by the wind on her back.

"I believe I recovered another memory," he informed her, bringing her out of her reverie.

She looked at him, waiting for him to continue. Her heart was pounding with fear while she waited for his next words.

"Does Shiba Kaien have a brother?"

Rukia frowned at the strange question. "Ahn... yes, he does," she answered airily, remembering the time Ganju and Hanatarou entered the Repentance Tower to save her. She had not seen him since then.

"One with orange hair?"

Rukia gasped and almost choked at that.

"Ichigo! You remembered Ichigo?" she asked rhetorically, surprised. Then she started laughing at his confusion, but stopped as she saw he was not amused at all. "They are not related... he is... he is just a friend. A human friend."

Rukia saw him frowning almost imperceptibly at the unlikely explanation, his expression still serious, silent and unmoving.

She repeated the words in her head. Yes, he was. Truth be told, she had had a crush on Ichigo in the past, but with time they became truly nakama, and too close for that. And now... now they were definitely just friends, she considered, briefly looking at Byakuya and thinking how life would be a little simpler if she was not going crazy and falling in love with her broth-… better to not even think of it.

"Too close a friend," he declared, a hint of displeasure in his tone.

Rukia wondered what he had remembered. Byakuya had never tried to disguise how he disliked Ichigo and his involvement in Soul Society affairs, but she assumed that he would like even less if Hisana had been close to Ichigo as she was. "A nakama, Byakuya-sama. He fought with us in this war."

Rukia noticed the frown in his face diminishing, so apparently this information matched whatever he had recalled.

"Captain Aizen and Ichimaru Gin, were they involved in this war?"

"Yes…" she answered.

"They attacked you," Byakuya stated.

Rukia looked at him, surprised that he would remember that, of all things.

"Yes they did," the girl confirmed.

After a moment of awkward silence, she continued:

"But you saved me."

Byakuya had his eyes on the floor and simply nodded in silence.

"But we won the war, and they are both deceased now," she informed him.

Byakuya acknowledged the new info, pensive, and they kept walking in silence for a while.

"That was a rather recent memory," Rukia commented absentmindedly, more to herself then to him, as they kept walking along the shore.

The thought of her nakama reminded her of something they had told her about the shore, though, and the idea would not leave her mind until she spoke of it:

"Erh… Byakuya-sama?"

He looked at her.

"… I was told that in the human world they actually swim at the sea."

"The idea is not foreign to me," he replied, wondering where this was going.

Rukia looked at him, searching for his reactions. It was their last day there and she really wanted to try it.

"I… would like to..."

"The water is salty," he pointed out.

"I… know."

"You would get your clothes wet and dirty."

"I am aware…"

"The waves are strong at this hour."

"I can swim. Please?"

He was still looking at her without an answer.

"Hmph. I shall join you and make sure you will be safe," he declared, and then Rukia was the only witness of a singular event which would be reason enough for an extraordinary reunion of the Shinigami's Woman Association: Kuchiki Byakuya not only going for a swim in the sea – but actually enjoying it.

After about an hour, they both left the sea, dripping wet, and sat in the sand, next to the shore.

"That was fun," she laughed.

"I am glad you enjoyed it."

Rukia looked at him, her smile fading away as she noticed the fabric of his clothes clinging to his frame. She could easily perceive his firm body over the wet, semi-transparent clothes. It felt somewhat unfair that a man could be that naturally handsome.

It did not escape him her eyes looming over his body, and when she reached his face, Rukia noticed how close he was, and that he had a similar intent in his stare.

In a swift motion, he moved over her and Rukia found herself being kissed against the sand.

She responded to the kiss almost involuntarily, inebriated by the feeling of their skin so close together, his weight making her feel him everywhere, skin mixed with the salt and the sand and the heat coming from him. But then she came to her senses and tried to stop him.

"B-Byakuya-sama… w-what are you doing?" she said embarrassedly, looking around to see if there was anyone.

"Kissing my wife," he replied not making any motion to move away, as he continued with small kisses to her chin.

Rukia felt him reaching her neck with the trail of kisses, making them sensuous, languid kisses this time. "N-No! We should not be doing this… " She closed her eyes, trying hard to not enjoy the feeling of his kisses on her neck and give in to her own desires, but before she could muster strength enough she felt him stopping his ministrations.

"Do you really want me to stop?" He asked, looking her in the eyes for a moment, but before she could answer, their lips touched again and she closed her eyes and felt her will faltering.

"You do not want _me_…" she tried to explain.

"Do not be foolish, woman. I want you more than anything in this world," he answered, capturing her lips in another kiss.

She wanted so badly to believe in those words… but she should not, and she knew it.

'He wants Hisana, not me! It is not me who he wants!'

"Byakuya-sama, please!" Rukia yelled in a desperate tone, pushing him away. "Please take me home," she begged, moving away from him and standing up.

#####

It was in the middle of the afternoon when Byakuya had excused himself. He had informed her he intended to discuss the hollow's incident with the village leader and his own militia, to ensure security of his people there. Rukia, too, was worried about hollows of that level attacking the village, which hopefully was only an isolated incident. It was no surprise for her that her brother wanted them to investigate and take proper measures to ensure no one would be hurt once they were gone.

'_I want you to get ready for a formal dinner tonight'_ she could still hear his words in his typical enthralling voice.

Sunset was approaching now and the girl wondered what this dinner was about. Would there be others involved? Maybe that would avoid inappropriate circumstances, but who? Would he invite the village leader for it?

Rukia decided it would not hurt to pretend to be his wife just for that last night and then they would go back home, hopefully without any other improper "incidents" and then… then she would do what she must.

Sighing, she decided it would be better to not give it much thought and only obey his instructions for now, and with that in mind, she started to do so.

#####

"… to be in charge of the men, and I expect direct and immediate reports if any incident of this magnitude comes to happen again," Byakuya finished, standing up.

"Of course, milord." The older man acquiesced. "I shall send news immediately, if such is the case."

"Katsuragi-san! Katsuragi-san!" a young man entered the room, interrupting them. "It is Lady Kyoko! She… she needs your presence!"

The older man became very alarmed, and with a sad expression bowed quickly to Byakuya.

"I-I am sorry, milord, if you would excuse me," the man spoke in a disturbed, desperate tone, quickly standing up and hastily entering a nearby door.

The young boy turned to Byakuya with a sad expression and bowed, tears dropping from his eyes.

"My lord must forgive us… Lady Kyoko was hurt in the attack last night… she is... on her deathbed," the boy explained, bowing again without raising his wet eyes and following Mr. Katsuragi into the same door.

Byakuya nodded and made his way out, but as he passed the corridor towards the exit, he stopped in front of the door where Katsuragi and the boy had entered, which was still open.

Inside, he saw a woman lying on a bed, her eyes almost closing from the weakness, but she smiled as her husband held her hand, bringing it to his lips.

"My love…" the woman said, almost in a whisper.

"Kyoko... please don't speak," Katsuragi said. Byakuya could distinguish the sound of the old man's constricted throat as he spoke, albeit his face was turned to the woman in bed.

"It is my time, beloved…"

The couple simply remained there in silence, as well as Byakuya and the boy.

"But do not cry…" she continued, touching the man's face and smiling. "The time we shared together was nothing less than a dream…"

The old man seemed incapable of any words.

"I love you…" were the woman's last words, and she closed her eyes.

Byakuya heard those last words and felt the immediate urge to leave the place. Only the boy noticed his hushed frame leaving the house at incredible speed.

#####

It was night and the moon was enormous and bright in the sky when Byakuya arrived home and was greeted by Seiji and Mariko.

"Milord," the couple greeted him, bowing as he passed. Mariko continued:

"Everything is set as my lord requested."

Byakuya merely nodded, not expecting any less, and went directly to his chambers.

#####

After a while, Rukia saw Byakuya entering the room. She had been requested to wait for him in another room and there she was, all dressed up and demurely seated, wondering what this dinner was about. At the sight of her brother, she stood up.

"Byakuya-sama. Good evening, my lord," she bowed.

"Good evening, my love," he greeted her with an intense gaze upon her. "Irrefutably beautiful," he commented, kissing her hand while looking at her, then offering her his arm as usual.

Rukia blushed and accepted his arm.

He guided her to a veranda that connected this room and their bedroom, where she saw a fancy table gorgeously decorated with rich porcelain and flowers, and candlelight illuminating it together with the incredible moon that shone upon them.

Rukia gaped slightly in surprise.

"I thought we would be having guests."

"No… I intended this dinner to be our farewell to our time here, just the two of us," he commented, studying her face.

"I… see," she answered nervously.

"Make yourself comfortable."

Both of them sat comfortably and the dinner started to be served. Mariko brought the entrée and then some ornamented dishes with different types of sushi, sashimi, temaki, all perfectly cut and beautifully decorated, and extremely fresh, especially given their location. She then served them both with the finest sake and left them to their privacy.

Byakuya, who had been in silence contemplating her, much to her discomfort, broke the silence:

"I hope you have enjoyed our days here."

"I… did enjoy them very much," she answered honestly.

"You seemed eager to leave last night."

Rukia looked from her plate to him, then back to it, nodding almost imperceptibly.

"Why?"

She sighed.

"Because it is for the best, Byakuya-sama. You will understand soon enough."

"Then are you lying that you enjoyed our time here?"

Rukia looked at him again and then looked down, answering:

"No. I am not."

She smiled briefly, still looking at the table, avoiding his gaze.

"That is exactly the problem…" she whispered, more to herself than to him. Soon it would be over, she would go back home, leave his life and do what was right… but she would always cherish these moments, forever.

"Then what did you enjoy the most?" he inquired.

Rukia looked at him, trying to find a good answer. It seemed impossible to pick one thing only, from all their moments together… being around him, visiting beautiful places in his company… being able to talk and see a side of him usually concealed to everyone. Sleeping next to him… To feel his embrace, his arms around her, his kisses…

"Ahnn, there were so many… new experiences," she tried to answer, drinking a bit of sake to buy her some time.

"L-Like… the horse-riding, training Kyūdō, our visits on the shore… s-so many amazing, beautiful landscapes around here!" she continued lamely, mentioning "safer moments", unlike the ones in her mind, hoping it would make her feel less pathetic. It had the opposite effect. She drank a bigger sip of sake this time.

"True. The moonlight seems particularly enchanting tonight," he pointed out, but looking at her instead.

Rukia looked at the moon illuminating them and it was true – perhaps the lack of lights made the sky even more beautiful there. The night sky was of a bluish color, illuminated by the intense moonlight, and filled with stars. It seemed like the first night of full moon, so big and brilliant as it was. She almost hoped the night sky was not so perfect that night, under the stars with him…

"It is... gorgeous indeed. Wonderful." She became enthralled, contemplating the beauty for a moment.

He did not allow that for long, though.

"But you did not answer my question."

And there she was, hoping he had forgotten…

"Ah, Byakuya-sama… it was all wonderful, it is... really hard to choose," she answered, going back to eating again to avoid the subject.

She was speaking the truth, at least. Many of their moments together flashed in her mind – their moment in the cave, him bringing her flowers, bequeathing her a breakfast in bed, walking by his side as his wife on the village… his embrace in the night, his kisses on the shore, his kiss in the… 'Stop, stop Rukia,' she told herself, reaching for the sake again.

Her plan of busying herself with the food did not work as he continued:

"Then what if I put it like this."

She looked at him and stopped eating, waiting for his phrase.

"But you must be honest," he instructed.

She merely nodded, going for another sip of sake, nervously, and concluding she should stop with the sake since her head was starting to spin.

"Your favorite moment. Tell me the first thing that comes to your mind," he demanded.

Immediately, the scene of them kissing in the forest appeared in her mind. The first time she had actually dared to contemplate her feelings for him, feelings she was probably harboring before all this, disguised as gratitude and admiration, crushed under the weight of propriety and impossibility. There, under those trees, had been the first time she caught herself daring to dream about a family with someone, about marriage and happiness. And then... the kiss… the mind-blowing kiss that followed, as if he could read all her thoughts and guess her deepest fears and desires, connecting minds and hearts into one... as if words were not necessary, because they simply knew.

"The… forest," she answered, feeling as if the truth betrayed her and escaped her lips and there was nothing she could do about it.

Byakuya stood there, looking deeply into her eyes, like a revival of that same memory, and she could not avoid looking back into his slate, magnetizing ones. It felt like he could read her mind, all her feelings, fears and thoughts crossing her mind as she remembered that scene vividly, and she hated how she felt naked, exposed, vulnerable, more fragile than that fine porcelain over the table.

Rukia knew there was no chance he did not know what she was referring to.

"Really…?" his low, husky voice filled her ears in a very rhetorical tone.

He was looking at her with impenetrable eyes that did not denounce his feelings and she felt even worse in her vulnerability. Even in their position, sitting side-by-side, he seemed much taller than her, the shadows cut by the sharp moonlight hiding his face from sight and making his eyes even harder to read. She was trembling slightly.

"And was it because of…" Byakuya approached her very slowly but she did not dare to avert her eyes from his or even move slightly, her mind blank of any thoughts…

"… this?"

Byakuya gently put his lips over her, in a very soft manner. Rukia was still looking at him, until their lips touched and very delicately she closed her eyes, giving in to the kiss. She felt him touching her face with his palm, holding her close, his fingers reaching her hair in a tender caress.

They spent a long moment there, their lips simply touching, feeling each other's essence, each other's soul, as if the lips connected the hearts. All was silence under that starry sky. A silence that belonged only to them, but that held much.

And again very softly, she felt him coaxing her into a deeper kiss and she gave in, letting him have what was already his. It was sweet, respectful, but sure and intense. There was no mistake in what they were doing, in what it meant. Inch by inch, he took her, and more and more she surrendered… inch by inch he conquered every little piece of her, which was already his to take. It was simple and real, bare and deep.

It felt so natural, to feel this, to kiss him, to love him, that for a moment their whole past did not make sense to her, and she could only wish that this bliss could last forever. That everything else was a bad dream and this could be reality.

But the mention of reality brought her back to earth and he felt her reluctantly stopping him.

He broke the kiss and inquired in a low tone:

"Did I assume incorrectly?"

She knew she should say so, but who was she trying to fool? She definitely was not fooling him. Or herself, anymore. It would be too late when he recovered his memories. There was no hope for her anymore, but go back to reality, to Seireitei, and leave him for good. It should feel wrong to kiss him like this, so why did it feel so right? So... perfect?

"No," she admitted.

"Then?"

She kept looking at the floor in silence. She wished she could at least treasure that night for all eternity, after she departed. For once, this taste of happiness, the dream of something like... this. Perfect like this.

It felt like he was reading her mind and her fears, when he spoke:

"I love you. I always have, ever since I first laid my eyes on you… and I always will."

Rukia looked into his serious eyes, surprised at his confession, for a moment deluding herself that he was talking about her.

"You love... the wife you remember," she retorted enigmatically, with a hint of sadness. She searched for the moon, only witness of that moment.

After some seconds of silence, he corrected her:

"No. I love _you_." He paused a bit. "I love the woman I have been living with, this one by my side. _You_ are the woman I want by my side, every day that I wake up. I would marry you, again and again… every day. I would marry you... this very night," he said, touching the kanzashi in her hair.

After he finished his speech, her eyes searched for the floor, as she felt tears coming.

"Would you?" he asked with a serious, husky voice.

Quickly Rukia looked back at him with wet eyes.

"W-what?"

"Would you marry me?"

The girl gaped, her big violet eyes bigger than ever at that moment, staring at that man who seemed to fill her whole heart, to the point she could barely feel anything else. There was no need for her to say what she felt for him, didn't he feel it just now when they were kissing? It was all over her face. It felt useless to deny it - it was as if the truth had rebelled against her and escaped her every pore, her eyes denouncing her even more, and she could not control any of it... and without thinking much and a hint of fear she saw herself revealing it all with a slow nod of her head, her eyes fixed on him with a hint of fear and horror at realizing she could not help but tell him the truth.

With this answer he kissed her again, and Rukia closed her eyes, accepting her defeat - she had lost everything, her heart, her sanity and it seemed there was nothing she could do but simply kiss him back and surrender in acceptance.

And so she did. And the moon bathed the pair and blessed that kiss full of love and wishes that they could be frozen in that moment forever, and only those that ever found themselves loving so much would know the secret behind a kiss like that - a bare soul, promising to belong to the beloved forever.

Rukia had her arms around him and Byakuya pulled her closer and closer - but there would never be close enough for the both of them, that much was obvious. She felt herself being carried to their bedroom, but they did not break the kiss.

He gently put her on the bed and covered her with himself, not wanting to stay one centimeter away from her. And, eyes closed, he started to explore her with his lips, his hands undoing her hair while bringing her closer, and kissing her more and more, sometimes passionately, in others just with a simple touch of their faces, caressing, feeling each other.

There was no longer space for thoughts, only feelings, translated into gestures, touches, kisses, breathing the other's breath, feelings scents and essences, and soon there was too much fabric hindering skin, and she felt him untying her obi and removing them layer by layer, so he had better access to the shoulder he so wanted to kiss.

The feeling of his lips on her skin burnt and she felt slightly ashamed when he started to slide down her kimono and reaching for her cleavage to kiss her breasts. Rukia couldn't believe what was going on, couldn't believe she had not backed down and she wouldn't. She felt the urge to close her kimono because of the shame – she had never been naked in front of a man before – but after her initial reaction, she took a big breath and released the border of her kimono. She wanted to be his. This was her last moment of happiness and she had decided to live it.

It puzzled her, though, when she noticed he had stopped and was eyeing her intently. After a few seconds he covered her hand with his and closed her kimono for her.

"I-Is there anything wrong?" she asked, but he merely moved away from her and to his side of the bed.

He kissed her forehead and explained:

"There is nothing wrong, my love. It is late, we will travel back home early tomorrow. Sleep."

She could not believe him! What had she done wrong? She did not have much experience with these things, maybe she did something that displeased him? Maybe her reaction, closing her kimono as if she didn't want him? Her mind was boiling with questions, but Rukia did not dare to press the matter. She laid down, facing away from him and waited for sleep to wash her frustration and worries away.

#####

A few hours later, Rukia was awaken by Mariko's voice.

"My lady?"

She blinked, sitting up.

"Byakuya-sama awaits you for breakfast."

Rukia nodded, standing up.

It was very early in the morning and Rukia was too sleepy to feel any hunger or engage in any conversation, so she merely ate very little and kept him company.

When they went upstairs again, their luggage was ready to be dispatched, and soon they departed.

Still feeling a little sleep deprived, Rukia noticed he was particularly silent, more than usual, that morning. Memories from the previous night came back to her… even though he was still tender and loving to her, she must have done something to disappoint him in their… intimate moment. Maybe he felt rejected by her reaction? Maybe he thought he was pressing things too much? Maybe she did something weird, awkward? She hated herself for not being experienced - she couldn't help the feeling that she did not know what she was doing. Or maybe he did not like what he saw…

If it was about her reaction… well, it was really not the case. She did not reject him, and he was definitely not being too pushy. It bothered her that he may have interpreted it as such. Not only because... she actually wanted it, but especially because she did not want him to feel that way. It bothered her immensely that he was upset about it.

"My lord, I…" she started, trying to find words. "Are you… upset?"

He looked at her but did not answer.

"I mean, I… did I do anything wrong?" she tried again. "Yesterday, I mean… I…"

"Rukia," he interrupted her. "I remember."

.

..

* * *

ZOMG what? Yeah… I'm sure that is what Rukia thought too. XD like it, hate me? I hope not haha. Drop a comment and review, please? Thanks! I cherish every single one of them. Also, let's fangirl together! I admit I haven't read/watch Bleach since aizen died, but did you see Byakuya-sama finally made his grand entrance and appeared again in last week's manga? *dies* and Without his famous scarf? :O *gasp* I have a theory he left it with Rukia… (hah... don't ask.)

I'd like to thank my dear beta, Ralenore, for dedicating time in her busy schedule to review it for me. I would also like to thank coAtL for his great aid, helping me decide the path of the story and contributing to it in many ways.

And finally, to let you know that I left a new pool on my profile, to decide the next fics to be finished, please take a look!

That being said... Please let me know what you think! I wish I could see each of your reactions to my writing, really. ^^

See ya!

Wynn


	11. Chapter 11

Dear readers. It it my birthday, and I know, I was supposed to be the one getting gifts, but I wanted to give you this instead. Here it is, to celebrate both my birthday and Rukia's – the final chapter of To Have her Back. As our birthdays, it comes in a combo too, this one and the epilogue. It was a long journey until here, and I am glad for all of you that gave me so many lovely reviews, motivating me to never give up and actually finish my stories. I would not have been able to do it alone, without your support – you have no idea how many reviews put me instantly in writing mode - so you have my everlasting gratitude. I hope you enjoy reading, as much as I enjoyed writing it. And last, but not least – I wish you all a great, great, wonderful new year, full of blessings and everything needed for your happiness.

Wynn

* * *

_"Rukia," he interrupted her. "I remember."_

..

.

'He… remembers? He… remembers… HE REMEMBERS? OH-MY-GOD HE REMEMBERS! OMG OMG OMG' was the mantra in Rukia's mind as the girl brought both her hands to her mouth involuntarily, eyes wide as saucers as she looked at him with absolute horror.

Her heart was hammering in her chest, her belly was as cold as ice and she felt dizzy, as if she would faint at any minute. Rukia was sure she could die that very instant. Hell, she would gladly welcome it.

Her overall embarrassment and shock were so great that no word would come out of her mouth because no word would even dare to cross her mind in shape of a proper thought. It was like her head refused to think and acknowledge it, as a survival instinct.

The girl sat straight in the bench, hands still covering her mouth and her eyes set on her feet on the floor of the wagon, not daring to look anywhere else. She would rather die than meet his eyes now.

So… that man sitting by her side was not the same Byakuya that she spent all those days with, but the cold brother that existed before all this… and yet… not long ago, they were sharing the same bed. In which, yesterday, they were… he was… oh God.

Does he really remember it all? Spending time together as husband and wife, sleeping in the same bed? Their kisses? Those moments of... more than kissing? Oh God, what is he thinking about _those_?

If he remembers her reactions too... then he must remember that she kissed him back, that she didn't refuse him as she should, that she played along, and yesterday, if he had not stopped it, they would have… oh Gosh oh Gosh!

Could she die of asphyxiation if she held her breath for long enough?

#####

The trip back home seemed impossibly, excruciatingly slow. Rukia shifted and turned, almost imperceptively, in the bench. She wanted to talk to him, ask him so many things, she_ needed_ to know what he was thinking. A thousand ways of asking crossed her mind, but she did not dare to voice any. She was too afraid of the answers or reactions she might get. The truth was Rukia did not know who was that man by her side, what was he thinking, what to expect from him. And so she sat there, unmoving like a statue, in silence, pretending the landscape out there was _that_ interesting.

Byakuya did not seem to mind her decision. Not that she dared to look at him much to be sure.

After about an hour of hyperventilating and nearly fainting from the shock and struggling with the many memories and their consequences, Rukia decided that if he did not wish to talk, it was better that way – apparently they were back to their mutual silent treatment, and the reality was that she had more important matters to deal with now. Sighing discreetly, she tried to calm down and start to focus on what she had to do.

Rukia had already decided that, when this day came, she would gather all her courage and do what was right – leave the Kuchiki family.

Now Byakuya was already well enough, healthy and no longer vulnerable to those who could benefit from his memory loss, so he did not need her. And now he also knew what she had done – how she betrayed his trust and acted inappropriately, and ended up playing along too much and falling in love with him, and that was just…

It would be comprehensible and expected if he did not want her to stay there any longer, after such embarrassing moments and improper behavior on her part. Their "sibling" relationship was pretty much ruined. Any possible relationship was pretty much ruined. Not to mention that, on her side… images of that day in the forest kept coming back to mind. It was strange, but what she felt for him – that kind of love, and the true wish to have a family and devote herself – was different from any crush she ever had before. She was sure she would never be able to see him as a brother again, and it would be painful to live with all those memories now that he was back to his old self, when her best option was to have things going back to normal, to see him every day pretending nothing happened.

So when the carriage arrived at the Kuchiki mansion and the servant opened the door for them, Rukia stood up fast and hurriedly whispered a breathy "I'm sorry" without turning to him, so he would not see the tears that fell on the garden's ground.

#####

With a weight in her heart that she was trying to ignore, Rukia closed the door of her bedroom and immediately started to pack. It didn't take long – what could she possibly consider hers, when she owed him everything she had and was? She hadn't brought much when she was found at the academy and brought to live in this big silent house, so she shouldn't take much with her either. A tiny small suitcase with a few personal items and some clothing was all she carried when she closed that same bedroom door behind her for the last time.

And then she was at the corridor, step by step saying goodbye to this place she had learned to call home in the past fifty years. Each step she took was like a knife in her heart. She had no idea where to go. The barracks from her division crossed her mind, but she was unsure if they were an option – she did join the Gotei 13 for being a Kuchiki in the first place. Now she would no longer be a member of the noble family, and perhaps… perhaps having offended such a powerful family would remove any possibilities of keeping her job as a shinigami, no matter what she could offer as such – which wasn't much, if she was honest with herself. It was not as if they would be losing a shinigami of considerable power, like a captain.

Sure, she should talk to her captain… with Renji too. But… what could she possibly say? Which explanation could she give that would not be revealing too much? For now – the girl sighed – for now… she didn't really want to explain anything to anyone. The Rukongai seemed like a better idea, or the only one. She just wanted to disappear, to be alone, to sort out her feelings, her life. At least this time she could take care of herself - she thought bravely as dreadful memories of the Rukongai came to her mind. She was not the same. Things would not be as scary as they were in the past.

Those thoughts were supposed to soothe the cold feeling in her belly as she crossed the corridors, in farewell to the place that, in spite of its coldness, was the closest thing she ever had to a home, but they did not help much. She would not miss the family, with whom she never really came to bond as such. As for its owner… Rukia gulped and forced that train of thought out of her mind. She knew well that if she dared to look too much into that hole in her chest, she would crumble and cry. She could not afford to be that weak.

So taking a big breath, she looked at the door at the end of the entrance hall and decided to cross it. And she did.

That was it.

It was over.

The day was clear outside. A cloudy, whitish one. A soft breeze touched her cheek and she wished she could enjoy it a little more if her chest did not hurt so much. That was it, that was the world outside, waiting for her. And _he_ was not a part of it any longer.

With a few fast steps, she crossed the garden until the gates.

She turned a bit to look at the sakura trees for the last time.

Then she sighed again and started walking to the gates.

At her first step, though, she felt a pull on her wrist that kept her from moving.

Rukia looked back but before she could process the sight, she heard the familiar voice saying:

"Where do you think you are going? I did not give you my permission to leave."

She looked up to his eyes, and they were completely unreadable, as was the tone of his voice. He stood some steps away from her in his usual stoic posture. His words confused her. She did not dare to say a word, her face becoming as pale as a ghost.

"Release your luggage there and follow me," he ordered, turning around, his scarf swinging with the movement.

She did not dare to disobey – putting her suitcase on the floor, she followed him a half step behind, as customary, dreading every step. Would he reproach her before she goes? Would he punish her, dishonor her, before she takes her way… would he kill her? Does he hate her enough for that?

Byakuya guided them to a parlor situated in their wing of the mansion.

As she entered the room, he said:

"Close the door behind you."

Fear filled her gut, spreading to her whole little body, but she did as instructed.

"So you were leaving without further notice?" he questioned, and she noticed the disapproval in his voice.

"Byakuya-sama, I… by no means meant any offense with it. I-I thought it would be preferable. I know that I… that you… I mean… I know that no words would be enough to apologize for my behavior. I… betrayed your trust, what I did is unforgivable and I can no longer… I mean, I know that my presence in this house is… no longer appropriate… if it ever was."

She closed her eyes in fear of what was to come.

"Rukia."

The girl, who couldn't bear to face him until now, raised her eyes. It was the second time he used her name after all those days, and another reminder that it was no longer the sweet Byakuya that had been referring to her using her sister's name.

"You are under the impression that you fooled me with your behavior, or took advantage of me for mistaking you for Hisana." It sounded like a statement, more than a question.

At hearing those words, her shame grew stronger and the girl looked at the floor again.

"I must tell you that I do remember everything, from my past and present, including the days at the shore."

'_Ok, now would be a great time to die'._

"That is not the impression I have, though," he observed.

Rukia looked at him, in silence. Did she hear him right? He did not think that she fooled him or took advantage of his memory loss? Ok, maybe she did not "take advantage" of him like others would because she did have his well-being at heart, but… she did indulge in it way too much. Surely he noticed by the way she stopped refusing his advances? He did not think her behavior was a little… over the line? Inappropriate? Unless… unless… for him to say such words… perhaps he noticed the reasons why she did it… why she let things get to where they did… oh God, isn't it even worse? Now he knows what a fool she is.

"You were not the only one pretending, or keeping secrets," he revealed, interrupting her train of thoughts.

Rukia looked at him, confused.

"What do you m-?"

"I did not recover my memories today," he informed her.

As the words sank in, the confusion in her eyes started to become horror.

"Oh gosh… you mean… yesterday… when we were in b-" she did not dare to voice it. "I knew there was something wrong... oh my God!" she covered her mouth in shame, horrified that he recovered his memories in such an intimate and awkward moment… horrified at the scene and the mess she put herself into for drinking a little too much and acting on her feelings way too much the previous night. "I'm… I'm… so sorry. Oh God." she covered her face with her hands in shame.

"It was not then either."

The girl frowned, looking at him again, before her eyes searched for the floor, confused.

"But… but then…"

"I had already recovered them during the dinner."

"W-What?" Rukia looked at him with wide eyes in disbelief.

"I believe some apologies are due on my part, for playing along and keeping you in the dark, but I am not really sorry for that."

Rukia just remained gaping, unable to form any words for a moment. But then… he knew? He was back to himself the whole time? The whole romantic dinner under the stars and all? Everything he said that night… the way he acted.. and he was back to himself? Did she hear it right?

"So you… knew? But then...why? When? When did you recover them, then?"

"Well…"

-FLASHBACK-

"The time we shared together was nothing less than a dream…"Byakuya heard the dying woman saying, and a strange feeling took over his chest and he just knew he had to leave, as soon as possible.

As the world passed through him in high speed, a voice kept echoing in his mind:

"A dream...A dream... A dream..." the woman's voice started to mix with another voice... one he remembered too well, from long ago...

"I am very sorry I couldn't return Byakuya-sama's love. I am sorry. Being with Byakuya-sama for the past five years was like a dream… like a dream…"

A powerful headache hit him and he brought both hands to his head, stopping his great speed. His shunpo steps had taken him to the top of a mountain nearby where he was all alone.

The strong wind was shaking his garments and he sat on the ground, losing his balance with the headache.

Hisana... images of her hand on his, just like the scene he just saw... the immense pain of losing her... her burial... her memorial... and suddenly way too many memories struck him and he kept looking at the valley down below in shock for a long, long time.

#####

Byakuya had no idea how long he remained there, eyes fixed on the horizon. The first stars were already appearing in the night sky when he came back to his senses, and to himself. He remembered that he was still awaited at home, where the servants, at his orders, had prepared a fancy, special dinner for him and his "wife", in which he was supposed to help her admit her feelings for him and restore their "marriage".

Except said "wife" was actually Rukia, and now he understood the extremely complicated situation they were into. He had compelled her into a very awkward position with his memory loss, mistaking her for Hisana and expecting her to act as such. It was a shameful behavior for which, in truth, there was no one to blame. One thing did not escape him, though. He noticed the unique opportunity he had in his hands. Byakuya brought to mind and analyzed carefully everything that had happened in the past few days between them.

And after some pondering, he decided that his original plan was not such a bad idea after all.

-END OF FLASHBACK-

She just couldn't believe it. So he knew… all along? Flashes of the dinner last night crossed her mind, and it seemed impossible. Him complimenting her on her looks, offering his arm… asking what she had enjoyed most about their time together… why would he ask that? In such... tone? And… the kiss?

"Gosh… why? Why did you pretend…" she knew she had no right to complain, given what she did, but she still couldn't help feeling like a fool, and questioning his reasons. Was it a twisted way to punish her, knowing of her feelings for him? To expose her and make her look like a fool?

"Do you remember what I said… after our kiss?" he inquired.

Rukia couldn't believe he brought that up, and so nonchalantly on top of that. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment at remembering the mind-blowing kiss. And it was really him! And he kissed her, knowing it was her! OMG-OMG-OMG Why?

Then the girl remembered he had just asked a question and tried to remember the words he was referring to, after their kiss.

'_I love you. I always have, ever since I first laid my eyes on you… and I always will.'_

No, surely she had it wrong. Could he possibly mean that he actually… meant it? For… her?

Byakuya could see the confusion in her face, forehead frowning and frowning again in disbelief. He decided to clarify:

"I meant every word." After a pause, he continued. "I have harbored those feelings for a long time, deeming them inappropriate and unreciprocated. However, this incident, unfortunate as it may have seemed, created the perfect opportunity and made me realize I was possibly wrong, so I took the opportunity to ascertain it, and I do not regret it."

Rukia was unable to formulate any words, processing it all in her mind, so she merely watched as he reached for his pocket, retrieving a little box.

"Rukia, I also meant it when I asked you that question yesterday."

'_Question?'_

"Which is what took me a moment today before I came for you, only to find you gone," he added with a hint of disapproval at her hushed escape from the house.

Rukia saw him kneeling, then taking her hand and kissing it – and it felt so strange now that she knew it was really him, with all his memories back, kissing her hand, that she almost wondered if she was still sleeping and that was a dream.

"I will ask you again, what I did yesterday. Will you marry me?"

She was so surprised that it took her a while to react to his words.

"I…" she started, her cheeks red as a tomato. "Byakuya-sama… " she felt unable to continue with her speech and it took her a while to gather some courage for doing so: "if you truly remember it all, as you mentioned, then it is pointless to deny what you noticed on your own. You were there, as much as I was." And after another paused, she answered: "It would… make me the happiest woman in the world, to be your wife," she answered with a half-smile, still extremely embarrassed.

Rukia felt her eyes getting wet, but tried to hide it. Byakuya gently put the ring he had brought with him on her finger, covering it with a kiss, but before she could really appreciate it, he stood up, intense grey eyes over her. She found herself incapable of looking away.

That was it. She knew what was coming. They had both admitted their feelings. And with that same intense gaze that always made her feel so vulnerable, he approached her very slowly.

But this time, he knew it was her. And she knew it was him. This time she knew he was not a "Byakuya-from-the-past" that did not remember her, but really him, with all his memories of her. It gave her chills. It would be both of them this time, with all their idiosyncrasies, all their conflict, all their past, their awkwardness, and Rukia doubted if it could be the same as the moments they had shared before, in that universe so far away, back in the summer house. This was their world, it was real.

All worry vanished, though, at the first contact of his lips softly covering hers. It was sweet, so sweet and slow and delicate that it was almost painful. Rukia felt that for an instant she was not really in that plane, but in an alternate reality, where there was no surroundings, no gravity, no ground. She felt tears in her eyes, but this time she would not brush them away.

He touched her face tenderly, and breathed her breath, not entirely breaking the kiss, but savoring every second of it, both equally lost in that universe that for a moment was only and uniquely theirs. It was, in a way, their first kiss, even though it felt completely familiar. She discovered she was trembling. Both hearts were filled with inexplicable joy and peacefulness, despite the exhilaration of the moment, and a hint of relief that could be translated into one word: finally.

And then, as if in the silence of the room they had the unspoken agreement that yes, things were still perfect as they expected them to be, he pulled her body closer to him and kissed her more deeply.

Suddenly the kiss was all-too-familiar, like the one he had given her the night before, like the one in the forest. Because again they had started to communicate in that strange way that involved no words, and yet, they knew exactly what the other was saying, as if they could feel the other's heart. She knew she was his, and that there, in his arms, was exactly where she belonged. And she knew he was hers, just as much as he knew she was his. And it was simple, so simple and easy and crystal clear as a new life born in this world, as anything that was simple and pure and right.

And when they broke the kiss – both trying to disguise the smile that came from the happiness they felt – she heard him saying what she had already felt in that kiss.

"I love you… Rukia."

And she was sure hearing her proper name had never sounded that sweet.

..

.


	12. Chapter 12 Epilogue

This epilogue contains a slight M-rated scene. Read it at your own discretion.

* * *

.

..

The marriage happened in that same week. It was a very private ceremony, only for the closest family and friends. They did not want gossip or explanations, and they had no wish for anything fancy or big, they did not need it. Everything they needed was already there. Silent and simple, it was in their eyes and needed no words or proof. It was in their hearts, and occupied them completely.

But that short time was time enough for her to become the most gorgeous bride in the entire world, that much he was certain, as he saw her joining him in the temple and took her as his wife. And as they left it, with her properly hanging on his arm, Byakuya was sure there was no happier man in the whole of Seireitei, and none more proud.

He was careful that no alcohol was involved this time – he wanted her in full awareness that night, unlike before. After the ceremony, she joined him in bed as shy as she had been in all those days they had spent together. There was only one difference.

This time, together with her shyness, there was no fear or jumpiness, but instead, a certain tranquility that came from acceptance.

But she was still nervous, he could feel, perhaps because this time she knew what would happen, so he tried to be as gentle as possible to make her at ease. It was not a hard task, though, because as soon as they started kissing, it all became fluid, natural, simple as it should be, as if the love they felt permeated their every pore and spoke for them, intertwining hearts and body. And naturally he undressed her, and she shyly let him.

It was undeniable that he wanted her very much, had wanted her for so long, so it would be a battle with his self-control, but all he could think about was her and her every reaction. Mindful, he covered her; gently, he took her.

He felt her tensing, holding her breath to silence a gasp, and he wondered if she was well. He awaited. After a moment, she took a deep breath and, trying to relax, she reached to kiss him, and he knew what it meant. He moved inside her, and soon she joined him in a mix of silent moans, scents, skin, breath, hold and release, and as they reached their climax, there was only one mind, one heart, one flesh, one soul.

It was only the beginning.

#####

As dawn gave place to morning and the first signs of clarity entered their bedroom from the opened window, Rukia stirred in her sleep. They were still entangled, her right arm passing over Byakuya, who awakened with her movement and hugged her closer, taking the opportunity to inhale the sweet scent coming from her hair. Rukia noticed his gesture and, after briefly looking at him, closed her eyes a bit, basking in the happiness and warmth of his embrace. But Byakuya was already quite awake and pulled her up for a kiss, which Rukia reciprocated with a smile on her lips.

As sleep was washed away and reality became more vivid, though, Rukia started to feel a little embarrassed, not really knowing how to react to everything that had happened between them, even if it was the most special thing that had ever happened to her. Feeling thirsty, she disengaged from him, searching for a glass of water on her bedside table, while trying to pull the sheets with her to cover her naked form. As she drank it, she heard his husky voice from behind her, almost in a whisper:

"What is... this…?"

Rukia turned around and followed his gaze and his hand, that was now in the place where she was laying a few seconds before, moving the covers to inspect it better…

…and gaped as she saw an undeniable mark of blood on the sheets. Blinking, she looked at him and blushed.

"Erh… that was... my…"

She had forgotten this might happen, and by his face, Byakuya had not expected it.

But he smiled, he was glad. It was a good thing he had stopped them from rushing things some nights before, he concluded.

"Come here," he said, pulling her to him, and kissing her - and soon she forgot all embarrassment and the world around them.

#####

There is one thing Byakuya did not reveal about the day they came back from the shore: he had visited Hisana's mausoleum that day.

Had he been there one day before, he would have not believed his eyes - to look at Hisana's mausoleum and see her alive there in front of him, cherishing her just the same. Now, however, the only impressive thing was the feeling being the same, or perhaps even greater.

His time with Hisana had been brief and melancholic - there was always a shadow over her, as if she wanted to be somewhere else, and Byakuya knew Hisana had never truly loved him like he loved her, the pain of it implied in her last apologetic words. Her mind was always distant, always elsewhere, in the world beyond these walls. He loved her, involved her in his life, with his care, but even their kisses were not as fluid, as if her mind or heart was not there. It was like Rukia was already between them back then. Looking at the sleeping form of his wife, Byakuya pondered on the reasons for things happening the way they did.

The ancients say that Happiness is a willful lady that doesn't knock twice on one's door. In Byakuya's case, though, it seemed her stern brother, Fate, had decided his fortune differently, changing his life and fixing everything in most unexpected ways, giving him a chance of finally truly knowing Happiness.

The only wise thing to do was welcome it, and be glad to have her back.

..

.

_The End_.

* * *

And that is it. Again, thank you for everyone that participated, betaed, reviewed and followed me in this story until now. My plan is now focusing on Power and Duty, as you guys chose in the pool on my profile (albeit I already have a one-shot that supposedly could fit the timeline after this story... it might be posted in the near future). I hope you enjoyed this one. Your thoughts on it, are, as always, very important and welcomed, so please take your time to review it.

Take care and have a wonderful 2012!

Wynn


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